Stewie Griffin Does Death Battles: Season 1
by GiovanniGo
Summary: Wiz and Boomstick are back for more epic Death Battles! In this little "Death Battle" miniseries, everyone's favorite homicidal baby, Stewie Griffin takes on lots of opponents, both good and evil. Who will win these battles to the death? Well, you'll just have to read and find out for yourself. Rated M for foul language and violence. Includes a small subplot with Stewie in between.
1. Stewie Griffin VS Numbuh 1

**Hello everyone. I just thought that I would write this quick short story while I work on my other ones over the weekend. I hope you all this story as it's based on the "Death Battle" videos on YouTube. It's epic, it's entertaining, and it all leads up to a great climax who will win? Well, you'll just have to read and find out for yourself. Are you ready for a battle?! Great, then let's begin. In 3...2...1!**

Boomstick: They're both bald or have very little hair, they both are always in action, and…they're young kids.

Wiz: Numbuh 1, the leader of Sector V of the "Kids Next Door" organization.

Boomstick: And Stewie Griffin, the badass one-year old psychopath.

Wiz: So today, we'll find out which one wins.

Boomstick: He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick!

Wiz: And its our job to analyzes their weapons, armor, and skills to find out who would win a death battle!

 **Introduction to Stewie Griffin:**

Wiz: This one-year-old is not meant to be messed with. If you do mess with him, he'll probably kill you. Not joking, he WILL kill you if provoked.

Boomstick: Stewie Griffin is the youngest member of the Griffin family, but don't yet his young appearance fool you. He's a damn psychopath!

Wiz: Born on June 30 1999, Stewie Griffin has a very sophisticated psyche and is able to speak fluently in an upper class English accent. When he was born, his birth doctor found a map of Europe with plans to bomb its capitals inside Lois, his mother.

Boomstick: From that day on, he was shown not to be a normal kid, but a kid with the mind of a criminal. His weapon arsenal is full of classic weapons. These weapons include a machine gun, a tommy gun, a chainsaw, a machete, a flame thrower, a rocket launcher, a crossbow, a laser gun, a few hand grenades, a handgun, and even a harpoon gun. This is one of the reasons you really should think twice about messing with Stewie!

Wiz: Not to mention his abilities! He can run fast, jump high, trick his enemies, punch hard, kick hard, and even bite hard. He can yell or curse up a storm, and he can even invent things.

Boomstick: Over the years of the "Family Guy" show, Stewie has invented many futuristic inventions, such as a mind controlling device, a carbonite freeze gun, a hypnotic control device, a hovering drill machine, a teleporter device, a multiverse traveler, a Peter-Bot, a clone machine, rocket skis, a weather device, and even a God-damn time machine! Wow, this is one badass little kid.

Wiz: His inventions are very cool and technologically advanced, and he uses them multiple times. However, due to the rules of "Death Battle", Stewie can't use his time machine. But he can use any of his other inventions.

Boomstick: This all proves one thing…if you want to bully a kid, please make sure that kid is not Stewie.

Wiz: However, he's not PERFECT. When his friend Brian gets into a dangerous situation, its been shown since Stewie and Brain are friends, Stewie CAN get distracted from any of his battles to help save Brian.

Boomstick: Wait, what?! Why on Earth does he care so much at Brian?

Wiz: Well, in one episode, he mentions that because of neglect from Peter, his father, he sees Brain as a fatherly figure, more than Peter. So because of this, Stewie can get emotional and weak sometimes.

Boomstick: But despite this, Stewie Griffin is still one badass kid!

 **Introduction of Numbuh 1:**

Wiz: Kids. We all know that they can be fun, happy, and enjoyable bundles of energy. But in a world where all adults are evil, kids can be like…well…little children version of secret spy agents!

Boomstick: The "Kids Next Door" is a worldwide group comprising thousands of kids joined in mutual struggle against teenage/adult tyranny. Following a period of training, every member of the Kids Next Door chooses a number or alphanumeric code (deliberately pronounced and spelled as "numbuh") and is sent to a "sector" that acts as their home base. And no group of kids are more skilled at fighting adults then the kids of "Sector V", headquartered in a massive technologically advanced treehouse.

Wiz: But we're not here to talk about ALL of the kids of "Sector V". We're here to talk about their leader, Numbuh 1.

Boomstick: Numbuh 1? Wait, isn't that the kid with no hair and sunglasses?

Wiz: Correct. But besides his look, he has a vast array of skills. He can jump high, run very fast, do flips in the air, create and operate amazing inventions, and he can dodge projectiles being fired at him! He's also an amazing secret spy, and can sneak into very dangerous and hostile places. He also has his own weapon and spy equipment arsenal.

Boomstick: He has a gumball shooting gun, a wooden "Splanker" for spanking his enemies, a hot sauce gun, an orange juice squirter gun called a "Bajooka", a bazooka laser called a "Blazer", two bongos that act as binoculars called a "Bongoskope", rocket shows, and a random object launcher called a "Catuhplunk".

Wiz: He's also good at manipulating the minds of evil adults sometimes, as well as tricking them into falling into traps made to stop and capture them. He's also shown to be very athletic, and intelligent as well. His friends, Numbur 2, 3, 4, and 5 are amazing partners, but due to the rules of "Death Battle", his friends cannot help him during the battle. But he can use any inventions that he chooses.

Boomstick: Wow, this kid is really badass! It looks like NOTHING can stop this kid!

Wiz: Uh…not always, Boomstick. You see, in some missions in the past, he was captured by several adult villains, and could not break free of their traps. In fact, the only reason he managed to survive, was either if he was just dreaming the whole thing, or if his friends rescued him at the last minute.

Boomstick: So…he's still alive today because of luck? Not very impressive the more I think about it.

Wiz: But despite this minor weakness, he has outnumbered the evil adults more than he's gotten trapped by them. This shows that even though he's an 8-year-old kid, he's a badass kid who's not meant to be messed with.

 **And now, the actual battle to the death…**

(The scene starts with Numbuh 1 in his neighborhood, holding a vanilla ice cream cone. He walks to the edge of the sidewalk, smiling at his ice cream cone…)

Numbuh 1: Ah, nothing like a delicious ice cream cone after a day of defeating adults. And now, to eat it (begins to lick it)

(Cut to Stewie on a rocket powered bicycle…)

Stewie: Shoot! I missed the ice cream truck! What on Earth am I going to do for ice cream? (Sees Numbuh 1's ice cream cone) Ah, I think I might have a chance to grab some ice cream after all…

(Stewie speeds by and grabs Numbuh 1's ice cream cone and speeds off…)

Stewie: YOINK! (Speeds off with the ice cream cone)

Numbah 1: HEY!

Stewie: Hahahahahahaha! Its like taking candy from a baby! (Licks ice cream)

Numbah 1: Oh, he thinks he can take my ice cream? (activates rocket shoes) We'll see about that! (Flies after Stewie)

 **FIGHT!**

Stewie: HAHAHAHAHA! I love ice cream! (Licks it some more)

Numbuh 1 (approaching Stewie): Not so fast you ice cream thief!

Stewie: Damnit! How on Earth did you catch up with me!?

Numbuh 1: These rocket shoes, you moron!

Stewie: Oh, calling me a moron, huh? (Pulls out machine gun) Well, EAT LEAD! (Fires machine gun) DIE!

Numbuh 1 (dodges bullets mid-flight): HAHAHAHAHAHA! You missed me!

Stewie (speeds over a pothole, nearly falling over): Ugh, why won't you stay still!?

Numbuh 1: I'm not a badass like you!

Stewie: How are you call me a badass you little shit! (Continues firing machine gun)

Numbuh 1 (pulls out gumball gun): Oh yeah? Think you can fire bullets at me!? Well, eat gum! (Fires gumballs at Stewie)

Stewie (gets face covered with gum, causing him to crash his bicycle into a random car): HEY! YOU WRECKED MY BIKE! (wipes gum off his face) Now you're REALLY going to pay the price! (Pulls out harpoon gun)

Numbuh 1: HAHAHAHAHA! (turns off rocket shoes and lands on the ground) What the Hell is that going to do?!

Stewie: Oh, I don't know…maybe, THIS! (Fires harpoon, knocking the gumball gun out of Numbuh 1's hands)

Numbuh 1: You just destroyed my best gumball gun!

Stewie: Yes, you bet I did! And now (tosses down harpoon gun and pulls out a machete) I'm going to finish the job of killing you!

Numbuh 1 (terrified): OH CRAP! (Runs off in fear) AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Stewie: COME BACK HERE! (Chases after Numbuh 1)

(Numbuh 1 runs through an alleyway into a nearby neighborhood. He notices an open back door to a random house. He hides behind the sofa in the living room…)

Numbuh 1: I got to do something!

Peter (enters living room): HEY! What the heck are you doing in here?!

Numbuh 1 (shivering): Uh…well…uh…you see…

Brian (enters living room): Oh, hey Peter. (Sees Numbuh 1) Who's this kid?

Peter: Some kind of intruder! (Grabs gun from cabinet) In this house, intruders get shot!

Numbuh 1: Please, I can explain why I'm in here. You see…

Stewie (breaks in via window): I can explain why! I was trying to kill him!

Peter (nods and puts gun away): Okay, go ahead. (Walks away)

Brian: Stewie, what the heck is going on here!?

Stewie: Stay out of this Brain! (Lunges towards Numbuh 1)

Numbuah 1: AAAAAHHHHH! (runs into kitchen where Lois is making meatloaf)

Lois (puts meatloaf into oven): Ah, this perfect meatloaf will be done in only 40 minutes (Sees Numbuh 1) Hey! Who are you and what are you doing in my house!?

Numbuh 1 (Jumps onto kitchen counter and grabs her chef knife): Sorry woman, but I've got a job to finish! (Blocks Stewie's machete)

Stewie: Oh, so you think you can just block my machete like Captain Jack Sparrow can block a sword!? Well, guess what you little shit?! I'm more lethal than you! (Swings machete at Numbuh 1, who keeps blocking it with the knife)

(For 45 whole seconds, Stewie and Numbuh 1 keep on fighting each other with the sharp weapons. Suddenly, Stewie slices Numbuh 1's knife in half…)

Numbuh 1: What the!?

Stewie: HAHA! I sliced your knife! Prepare to die! (points machete at Numbuh 1's neck) Any last words?

Numbuh 1 (pulls out Splanker and begins to spank Stewie in the face): Yes, this!

Stewie (drops his machete): OW! OW! OW! OW! OW! OW! STOP IT (struggles to fight back) THAT HURTS, STOP IT!

Numbuh 1: No! Little brats like you have to pay! (Keeps spanking Stewie)

Stewie (pulls out a crossbow and shoots Numbuh 1's Spankler out of his hands) Hahaha! Now you can't spank me! (Pulls out flame thrower) Hey, is it just me or is it getting BOILING HOT IN HERE!? (Turns on flames and tries to burn Numbuh 1)

Numbuh 1 (doges and flips in the air, jumping out the window): Haha! You missed!

Stewie (jumps out after him): DID NOT! (Burns Numbuh 1's backside)

Numbuh 1 (in pain): AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! (Falls backward and gets cornered against a tree)

Stewie: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! YOU'RE FINISHED!

Numbuh 1 (coughs): No…I'm…NOT! (Gets out a homemade whipped cream bomb and pulls out the pin) Get ready for a SWEET EXPLOSION! (Throws detonated bomb at Stewie)

Stewie: Oh shit! (Tries to pull the bomb off, which was stuck to his shirt)

(Explosion cloud of smoke and whipped cream goes off, nearly destroying the whole neighborhood...Stewie is thrown backwards by the explosion, and he lands on the ground in pain…)

Stewie: Oh boy, I really made that kid mad, didn't he? I got to get out of here (Begins to crawl away, but a shoe pins him down to the ground, making him face the sky. Numbuh 1 appears…) Oh crap…

Numbuh 1: You're fast…and you're intelligent… (Grabs Stewie by his shirt collar and lifts him off the ground) But you can't outsmart me, you little shit! (Pins him against a tree) Now, I want go see you in pain. I want to see you suffer. No one takes my ice cream…no one!

Stewie (freaked out): Alright, alirght! But before you hurt, can I at least have one last request? Please! It'll only be a second…

Numbuh 1: Okay, fine. What's this last request?

Stewie: My last…request…is…is…is…THIS! (Quickly pulls out a running chainsaw and cuts of Numbuh 1's hands, causing Stewie to fall to the ground)

Numbuh 1 (falling to the ground in excruciating pain, with blood spewing all over the place): AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH! (Closes eyes and dies)

(Stewie then continues to cut the now-dead Numbuh 1 with the chainsaw, cutting open is stomach, and causing his internal organs and blood to fly everywhere. Stewie then shuts off the chainsaw, and grins at his accomplishment…)

Stewie: YES! I DID IT! HORRAY! NO MORE BLAD BRAT! Yes, I'm such a winner! Oh, if only I had an audience to witness this glorious moment of mine! (Gets on his bicycle and takes off) Time to see about catching that ice cream truck...

 **KO!**

Boomstick: That was one epic battle! And the best part is, no one got hurt…except for Numbuh 1…

Wiz: Both children were very skilled in combat, but Stewe's more "lethal" approach to fighting gave him a better advantage here. Despite Numbuh 1's skills, he's just not lethal as Stewie is.

Boomstick: Think about. When you're up against a kid who has a reputation for killing many innocent people, chances are you won't get out alive at the end. Stewie was not fooling around in this battle. So, think twice before even thinking about messing with him!

Wiz: Numbuh 1 was skilled enough to distract Stewie, but not enough to kill him. He was just as skilled at Stewie when it came to dodging the bullets and stuff, but that wasn't enough to kill Stewie off.

Bookstick: No amount of "Elmer's Glue" or glitter can bring Numbuh 1 back to life. Boy, I hope his friends don't freak out when they see his body...HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Of course they're going to be freaked out and sad! Boy, I'm such a joker. Man, I really need to call t back on the coffee.

Wiz: The winner of this "Death Battle" is Stewie!

Boomstick: He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick, signing off. Have a nice day!

 **THE END!**

 **And that's our "Death Battle" for today, folks! Yeah, I made sorry for the bad words, but that's how these "Death Battles" usually are on YouTube. And yep, the winner is Stewie. Yes, that violent kid has won the battle. Considering what he does on "Family Guy" at the time, I wouldn't be surprised. But for now, it's all over and I hope you all review this story. Well, I got to go now. Goodbye!**


	2. Stewie Griffin VS Muscle Man

**Well, this is certainly a special treat. Yep, this is a sequel to "Death Battle: Stewie Griffin VS Numbuh 1". I hope you all like it and post a review for it!As for the next opponent, I decided that Muscle Man from "Regular Show" would be perfect! During the fight, expect foul language, action, and lots of violence! Please do not read this story if you're faint of heart. If you're squeamish, please stay away from this story. Rated M for foul language and violence. Well, I don't want to keep you readers all delayed any longer. Let's begin this second epic "Death Battle"...**

Wiz: They both are strong and skilled, they both are very violent when provoked, and they also can kill you if you make them mad…

Boomstick: Stewie Griffin, everyone's favorite homicidal baby!

Wiz: And Muscle Man, a green-skinned man whose anger could kill you if you intimidate him!

Boomstick: He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick!

Wiz: And it's our job to analyzes their weapons, armor, and skills to find out who would win a death battle!

 **Introduction to Stewie Griffin:**

Boomstick: Ah, good old Stewie Griffin. You never know what'll happen when messing with this kid!

Wiz: We already introduced Stewie in the last battle, but we still have to do it again due to the rules of "Death Battle".

Boomstick: To make it short and sweet on my part, Stewie Griffin is a homicidal baby that wants complete world domination!

Wiz: This one-year-old is not meant to be messed with. If you do mess with him, he'll probably kill you. Not joking, he WILL kill you if provoked.

Boomstick: Stewie Griffin is the youngest member of the Griffin family, but don't yet his young appearance fool you. He's a damn psychopath!

Wiz: Born on June 30 1999, Stewie Griffin has a very sophisticated psyche and is able to speak fluently in an upper class English accent. When he was born, his birth doctor found a map of Europe with plans to bomb its capitals inside Lois, his mother.

Boomstick: From that day on, he was shown not to be a normal kid, but a kid with the mind of a criminal. His weapon arsenal is full of classic weapons. These weapons include a machine gun, a tommy gun, a chainsaw, a machete, a flame thrower, a rocket launcher, a crossbow, a laser gun, a few hand grenades, a handgun, and even a harpoon gun. This is one of the reasons you really should think twice about messing with Stewie!

Wiz: Not to mention his abilities! He can run fast, jump high, trick his enemies, punch hard, kick hard, and even bite hard. He can yell or curse up a storm, and he can even invent things.

Boomstick: Over the years of the "Family Guy" show, Stewie has invented many futuristic inventions, such as a mind controlling device, a carbonite freeze gun, a hypnotic control device, a hovering drill machine, a teleporter device, a multiverse traveler, a Peter-Bot, a clone machine, rocket skis, a weather device, and even a God-damn time machine! Wow, this is one badass little kid.

Wiz: His inventions are very cool and technologically advanced, and he uses them multiple times. However, due to the rules of "Death Battle", Stewie can't use his time machine. But he can use any of his other inventions.

Boomstick: This all proves one thing…if you want to bully a kid, please make sure that kid is not Stewie.

Wiz: However, he's not PERFECT. When his friend Brian gets into a dangerous situation, its been shown since Stewie and Brain are friends, Stewie CAN get distracted from any of his battles to help save Brian.

Boomstick: Wait, what?! Why on Earth does he care so much at Brian?

Wiz: Well, in one episode, he mentions that because of neglect from Peter, his father, he sees Brain as a fatherly figure, more than Peter. So because of this, Stewie can get emotional and weak sometimes.

Boomstick: But despite this, Stewie Griffin is still one badass kid!

 **Introduction to Muscle Man:**

Boomstick: In a park where maintenance and groundskeeping is important, certain jobs are assigned to certain employees by Benson, the park manager.

Wiz: And no one takes on the hardest and heaviest jobs like Muscle Man does!

Boomstick: Muscle Man is a green man with shoulder-length, greenish-brown hair. He is also fat and has large breasts. As a teenager, he was tall, and had zits. It is unknown how he acquired his green complexion.

Wiz: In his youth, he was in fact very muscular in his, but he let himself go as years went by. However, while he is extremely out of shape, it is shown that he still possesses excellent bodybuilder posing technique, including the ability to pull off the deadly pose "The Shredder." In addition to this, Muscle Man also still maintains his superhuman strength.

Boomstick: Despite being obese, Muscle Man is capable of lifting cars and trees with his bare hands, and can throw them very far. If angered enough, he will go on a destructive rampage. He appears to be the 2nd strongest member of the park, with Skips being the strongest. Although out of shape, Muscle man still retains the skills of an award-winning body builder, and can rely on his posing technique alone to defeat other more built men in a bodybuilder contest.

Wiz: Muscle Man can also withstand many hits and even being stabbed at!

Boomstick: Wait, he can survive a stab?! That's fricking amazing! Man, I got to exercise more!

Wiz: Muscle Man also has a really bad body order, which can work in a fight, as it distracts the enemy, long enough for Muscle Man to counterattack to his heart's content.

Boomstick: Woah! So bad odor can help in fights? Maybe I should try that sometimes!

Wiz: And he's also very skilled at driving the park's golf cart. He can use it to dodge projectiles and jump high distances to get over large obstacles.

Boomstick: Man, he's invincible! NOTHING can stop him!

Wiz: Well, not quite. He does have a few weaknesses. It's been shown that despite his skills, his overweightness can make him tired of chasing after his enemies. It's also been noted that if he's captured or restrained by his enemies, it's impossible for him to escape. Like on time in "Fireworks Run", his enemy, Hector, chained him, Mordecai, and Rigby up to a bench with chains, and neither one of them could escape.

Boomstick: Wait, then how did they escape and live at the end of the episode?

Wiz (sighs): Boomstick, I'm going to spoil episodes. This is "Death Battle", not "Regular Show Spoliers".

Boomstick: Aw, come on!

Wiz: No. Anyways, despite those weakness, Muscle Man is still a man that should not be provoked!

 **And now, the actual "Death Battle" fight to the death…**

 _(Scene opens with Stewie Griffin driving down the road on his rocket-powered bike. This battle continues from "Stewie Griffin VS Numbuh 1" …)_

Stewie: Oh man, that was a blood fest back there. (turns left) All that fighting made me hungry. I'm in the mood for some protein…

 _(Cuts to Muscle Man walking out of "Wing Kingdom", his favorite restaurant, holding a paper container of fried chicken wings…)_

Muscle Man: Man, I can't believe I got these wings half-priced! (Eats one)

 _(Cuts to Stewie on his bike…)_

Stewie (sees Muscle Man's wings in the distance): Hmmm, now there's a feast I can enjoy.

 _(Stewie suddenly speeds past Muscle Man, and snatches the container of wings…)_

Stewie: Thanks, fat man! (laughs and speeds off)

Muscle Man (shocked): HEY!

Stewie (speed away): Ah, it's like taking candy from a baby. Wait, I feel like I already said that…

Muscle Man (gets in golf cart): NO ONE STEALS MY CHICKEN WINGS! (speeds after Stewie, rear-ending the back of Stewie's bike)

Stewie (speeds faster): Hey, watch it! You almost knocked over my bike!

Muscle Man (angry): GIVE ME BACK MY WINGS!

Stewie (grins): Oh, these wings? (holds up wings) Well, I can fix that! (tosses them into a nearby mud puddle) There! If I can't have them, no one can! (laughs)

Muscle Man (faces turns red): NO ONE DOES THAT TO MY WINGS! THAT'S IT! YOU'RE GOING TO PAY!

Stewie (laughs): Bring it on, fatty!

 **FIGHT!**

Muscle Man (rear-ends Stewie's bike again): TAKE THAT!

Stewie (stands on moving bike and turns around to face Muscle Man): That's it! I already warned you about my bike, you little shit! (pulls out machine gun): TIME TO DIE! (fires machine gun)

Muscle Man (swerves golf cart left and right very sharply, causing the bullets to miss Muscle Man, and hit the car instead): Ah-ha! You can't shoot me! (laughs)

Stewie (drops machine gun and pulls out rocket launcher): Maybe so, but I can still blow up the shit out of you! (Fires rocket)

 _(The rocket hits the golf cart's front bumper. "KABOOM!", it explodes and the force of the explosion flips the cart over into the car. "BAM!", the cart lands upside-down on the ground, and it gets severely damaged to rubble. Muscle Man falls backward onto the ground, all scrapped and cut…)_

Muscle Man: You little brat! (gets up and runs towards Stewie's bike) I'm going to beat you for this! (Jumps off of a nearby bench, and tackles Stewie's bike to the ground.)

Stewie (falls off bike onto the ground and drops machine gun, which breaks on impact): HEY, MY BIKE! (Gets up off the ground) Oh, that's it, fatty! NO ONE DESTROYS MY BIKE! (pulls out a running chainsaw) Time for a gruesome death!

Muscle Man (with a look of fear): Uh oh… (runs off towards park nearby): AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH! HELP!

Stewie (chases after Muscle Man): GET BACK HERE!

 _Muscle Man runs past several trees, dodging Stewie's chainsaw as he swung it towards him. Suddenly, Muscle Man gets cornered against a tree…)_

Stewie: Well, well, well, it looks like you're cornered and ready to die! (Swings chainsaw towards Muscle Man, who bends down at the last second, causing him to the cut the tree down instead)

 _(Stewie drops the chainsaw and backs away in fear as the tree falls over, smashing Muscle Man's trailer…)_

Muscle Man (shocked): MY TRAILER! (faces turns read again): NOW, YOU'RE GOING TO PAY! (Grabs fallen tree and lifts it off the ground)

Stewie: Oh shit! (runs off)

Muscle Man (tosses tree at Stewie): TIMBER! (tree misses Stewie as he runs towards the main park house)

Stewie: That man must die! (Sees Benson's car and grins) Hmm, a car. Maybe I can use the car and turn him into roadkill! (laughs evilly and runs towards Benson's car)

 _(At that very moment, Benson exited the house and walked towards the car. Stewie walks over to him…)_

Stewie: Hey sir, give me those car keys!

Benson (looks down at Stewie): What? Are you…a talking baby!?

Stewie: Yes, and I want you to give the keys to your car!

Benson (laughs): And what makes you think I'm going to give you my car keys?

Stewie (pulls out handgun): THIS! (fires gun and bullet hits tree nearby) GIVE ME THE CAR KEYS!

Benson (shocked): AAAAHHHH! (shivers and tosses car keys to Stewie): Okay, okay, fine! Here's the keys. Please don't hurt me! (runs off in terror) AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!

 _(Stewie grabs the keys and steps into the car. He starts the car and drives toward woods as Muscle Man angrily runs out…)_

Stewie: ROADKILL TIME! (Speeds toward Muscle Man and hits him with the car, who ends up rolling over the windshield and roof) SCORE! Yes, I hit him with the car! (laughs)

 _(Suddenly, Muscle Man flips the car over on its side, making it land on the roof…)_

Stewie: OH CRAP! (Muscle Man rips off driver's side door and grabs Stewie by the neck, angrier than ever) This isn't good…

Muscle Man (puts his face up close to Stewie's): Well, well, well, it looks like I've got you now! You're going to pay for all the pain and trouble you put me through!

Stewie: Please no! (shivers) What did I ever do to you?!

Muscle Man: You stole my chicken wings, destroyed the golf cart, made me get all these scrapes, and destroyed my trailer! Now, I'm going to you suffer with pain all over your body! (grins and holds up a fist, ready to hit Stewie)

Stewie: NOT TODAY! (pulls out a can of pepper spray and sprays Muscle Man in the eyes)

Muscle Man (drops Stewie and covers eyes in pain): AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH! MY EYES!

Stewie (pulls out flamethrower): You like chicken? Because…IT'S TIME TO BE COOKED LIKE A CHICKEN! (Fires flame thrower, setting Muscle Man on fire, killing him…)

Muscle Man (in excruciating pain): AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! (Dies as his body gets brunt to a crisp)

Stewie (shuts off flame thrower and puts out the fire): HAHAHAHAHA! YES! I DID IT! That'll show him not to try and destroy my bike. (puts flame thrower away and walks out of park) Now all I got to do is go and look for something else to eat. (Puts his bike back up, gets on it, and drives away)

 **KO!**

Boomstick: WOOOOOOOOOOOOOAH! Man, that battle was more violent than the last one!

Wiz: Muscle Man and Stewie were evenly skilled in combat, but Stewie's more lethal approach to fighting, and his weapon arsenal, both gave him the advantage he needed.

Boomstick: When you face off against a baby with weapons, you should ALWAYS be aware of him carrying around a distracting substance like pepper spray or mace.

Wiz: Muscle Man might be violent, but he's just not as lethal or serious as Stewie is. In the past, some of his antics have him into trouble. And some of those troubles were situations that he could get out of on his own, and he required the help of his friends to get him out of it.

Boomstick: Well, it seems that the park now was one less employee to pay...and a damaged car and trailer. Mordecai and Rigby, prepare for when Benson makes you pick up that mess. It's going to be a long night!

Wiz: The winner is Stewie Griffin.

Boomstick: Thanks for watching and we'll see you all in the next episode of "Death Battle".

 **THE END!**

 **Well, that's our second "Death Battle". Man, that was epic, wasn't it? Yes, yes it was. And Muscle Man's death was a really intense one to read, too! Sorry if killing off Muscle Man made you all upset or scared, but Stewie WOULD win in an actual battle against him. Sorry, but that's just how the story goes. Hey, who knows? Maybe Stewie will loose someday. But for now, Stewie won this "Death Battle" and that's that. Well, that's all I wanted to say. Until the next battle, goobye everyone!**


	3. Stewie Griffin VS Hector

**Well, I hope you all liked the last "Death Battle" story. It seems that Stewie won for the second time in a row. Now, in this chapter, Stewie has a NEW opponent. This one is named Hector, from the "Regular Show" episode, "Firework Run". What chance does Stewie have of beating as muscular man who sells fireworks? Will Hector win and kill Stewie off? Well, you'll just have to read and find out for yourself. If I spoil it all now, the battle wont be so epic, would it? No, not it would not. Well, let's not wait any longer. Let's all begin chapter 3 of this epic miniseries...**

Wiz: They're both very intelligent, are great will abilities and skills, and are very sinister as well as homicidal.

Boomstick: Stewie Griffin, everyone's favorite homicidal baby…

Wiz: And Hector, an illegal fireworks and explosives dealer, featured in an episode of "Regular Show".

Boomstick: He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick!

Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to find out who would win a "Death Battle".

 **Introduction to Stewie Griffin:**

Boomstick: Ah, good old Stewie Griffin. You never know what'll happen when messing with this kid! And this is his THRID battle!

Wiz: We already introduced Stewie in the last battle, but we still have to do it again due to the rules of "Death Battle". Yep, this is Stewie's third introduction.

Boomstick: To make it short and sweet on my part, Stewie Griffin is a homicidal baby that wants complete world domination!

Wiz: This one-year-old is not meant to be messed with. If you do mess with him, he'll probably kill you. Not joking, he WILL kill you if provoked.

Boomstick: Stewie Griffin is the youngest member of the Griffin family, but don't yet his young appearance fool you. He's a damn psychopath!

Wiz: Born on June 30 1999, Stewie Griffin has a very sophisticated psyche and is able to speak fluently in an upper class English accent. When he was born, his birth doctor found a map of Europe with plans to bomb its capitals inside Lois, his mother.

Boomstick: From that day on, he was shown not to be a normal kid, but a kid with the mind of a criminal. His weapon arsenal is full of classic weapons. These weapons include a machine gun, a tommy gun, a chainsaw, a machete, a flame thrower, a rocket launcher, a crossbow, a laser gun, a few hand grenades, a handgun, and even a harpoon gun. This is one of the reasons you really should think twice about messing with Stewie!

Wiz: Not to mention his abilities! He can run fast, jump high, trick his enemies, punch hard, kick hard, and even bite hard. He can yell or curse up a storm, and he can even invent things.

Boomstick: Over the years of the "Family Guy" show, Stewie has invented many futuristic inventions, such as a mind controlling device, a carbonite freeze gun, a hypnotic control device, a hovering drill machine, a teleporter device, a multiverse traveler, a Peter-Bot, a clone machine, rocket skis, a weather device, and even a God-damn time machine! Wow, this is one badass little kid.

Wiz: His inventions are very cool and technologically advanced, and he uses them multiple times. However, due to the rules of "Death Battle", Stewie can't use his time machine. But he can use any of his other inventions.

Boomstick: This all proves one thing…if you want to bully a kid, please make sure that kid is not Stewie.

Wiz: However, he's not PERFECT. When his friend Brian gets into a dangerous situation, its been shown since Stewie and Brain are friends, Stewie CAN get distracted from any of his battles to help save Brian.

Boomstick: Wait, what?! Why on Earth does he care so much at Brian?

Wiz: Well, in one episode, he mentions that because of neglect from Peter, his father, he sees Brain as a fatherly figure, more than Peter. So because of this, Stewie can get emotional and weak sometimes.

Boomstick: But despite this, Stewie Griffin is still one badass kid!

 **Introduction to Hector:**

Wiz: All, good old-fashioned Fourth of July. Also known as "Independence Day", it's a holiday that celebrates the day the United States of America became its own county.

Boomstick: And all over the U.S.A, this holiday is celebrated with barbeques, parties, and of course, fireworks!

Wiz: However, if you're like Muscle Man, High-Five Ghost, Mordecai, and Rigby, chances are, you accidently set them off before a major celebration and Benson is threatening to fire you all if you don't buy some more in time for the big event.

Boomstick: And where do you go when you need some fireworks on such short notice? "eBay"? Nope. "Amazon"? Nope. A retail store? No way! I'll tell you where…a creepy warehouse in the middle of the city outskirts where a man named Hector, can solve all your troubles. For a reasonable fee, of course.

Wiz: Hector is a 42-year-old man with an occupation of selling fireworks. However, if you make him mad, he might tie you up, and try to kill you…literally.

Boomstick: Hector is not only a man with a Mexican accent, but he's also a freaking CYBORG! He's like the Terminator, for crying out loud!

Wiz: His abilities are so amazing! He can light up and launch fireworks at his enemies. He can also dodge projectiles, and he can restrain his enemies to kill them. He also jump very well, and he can also run very fast. He's also an expert of fireworks, so he's pretty good at using them in battle! He also has henchmen, but due to the rules of, "Death Battle", they cannot help him during the battle.

Boomstick: And he's also seem to have had a past with Muscle Man. It is currently unknown how he and Muscle Man met each other, or if they have any history of being friends in the past.

Wiz: Despite that, he once tried to KILL Muscle Man and his friends due to a simple package delivery going wrong.

Boomstick: And as for his weaknesses…well…I can just say it's what he makes if used wrong, fireworks. Yep, fireworks can kill him if used AGAINST him!

Wiz: But despite that weakness, he's still a fireworks seller you should NEVER make upset.

 **And now, the actual battle to the death:**

 _(The scene begins with Stewie riding down the road on his rocked-powered bike, continuing from "Death Battle: Stewie Griffin VS Muscle Man"…)_

Stewie (stops at red light): Man, I'm so hungry! I need some food and I need it now! (Stewie's cell phone rings) Huh? Who could that be? (Answers it) Hello?

Brian (over the phone): Hi. Stewie. Can you do me a favor?

Stewie: Sure. What do you need me to do?

Brian: Well, Peter forgot to buy fireworks for our annual Fourth of July backyard party tonight, and Lois doesn't know. I can't tell her that because Lois is under a lot of pressure as it is. She's preparing the salad, hot dogs, burgers, etc. Can you please go buy some fireworks for the party while you're out there?

Stewie (sighs): Sure, Brian. Only problem, I have no money.

Brian: Well, I think you do. Remember that money I owed you? Remember the time you tortured me over it?

Stewie: Yes?

Brian: Well, I FINALLY gave you the money but I forgot to tell you about it. It's in your left pocket.

Stewie (feels inside pocket): Ah, here it is. Alright Brian, I'll take care of it right away. (light turns green) Alright, I got to go. Bye (hangs up and continues driving down the road) Where am I going to find some fireworks?

 _(Cuts to montage of Stewie stopping at multiple stores, only to find out that each store was sold out of fireworks. The scene then cut to Stewie driving down the road again…)_

Stewie: (stops by "Stop" sign) Oh man, I tried EVERYWHERE and I couldn't find any fireworks! What on Earth am I going to do? (looks around)

 _(Meanwhile, a block away, Hector is sitting on a bench, holding a crate of fireworks…)_

Hector: Nothing like selling illegal fireworks on a sunny Fourth of July! (grins)

Stewie (sees labeled crate of fireworks in the distance): Ah, perfect! (Speeds up to Hector, snatches the crate from Hector's hands, and speeds off): THANKS! (laughs)

Hector: What the!? HEY! GIVE THAT BACK! THOSE ARE MY FIREWORKS!

Stewie (speeds to the left): NOT ANYMORE! (laughs): Ah, once again, it's like taking candy from a baby. I might've said it 3 times, but it's still a pretty good quote.

Hector (gets onto his motorcycle): That kid is going to pay! NO ONE TAKES MY ILLEGAL FIREWORKS! (Speeds after Stewie)

 **FIGHT!**

Stewie: Now, got get these home (gets rear-ended by Hector) What the? (turns around) HEY! Watch where you're going!

Hector (grins): Sure. After you give me back MY FIREWORKS!

Stewie (laughs): Make me, Mexican guy!

Hector: MY NAME IS HECTOR! (rear-ends Stewie's bike again, causing him to drop the fireworks crate into an open manhole cover)

Stewie: GREAT! Now no one gets them!

Hector: THOSE WERE MY ILLEGAL FIREWORKS!

Stewie: Illegal, you say? Ooooooh, I think I'm going to tell the police!

Hector (laughs): TRY ME!

Stewie (turns around, stands up on bike seat, and pulls out machine gun): Here, have some lead! (fires machine gun)

Hector (dodges all bullets): HA-HA! You missed!

Stewie (drops machine gun and pulls out baseball bat): Not quite (whacks Hector on the side with it, causing him to fall off his motorcycle. The motorcycle falls over, causing the engine to break)

Hector (in pain, clutching side): You…you…you broke my motorcycle!

Stewie (stops bike and steps off): Looks like it's the end of the line for you! (pulls out handgun) time to die! (raises hands, aiming gun at Hector)

Hector (grins): I don't think so…

Stewie (lowers gun): Why's that?

Hector (stands up): Because of THIS! (rips off face mask, revealing a metal face)

Stewie: AAAAAAHHHHHH! (drops gun): Y...y…you're a cyborg!

Hector (laughs): Yes, indeed. Indeed, I'am a cyborg! (pulls out a firework launcher) Now, its time for YOU to die!

Stewie: Bring it on! You'll have to catch me first! (hops back onto bike and speeds away)

Hector (chases after Stewie): You can run but you can't hide, you little brat!

 _(Stewie speeds through the traffic on the streets and onto a big highway road. Hector chases after Stewie as he does this, jumping off and on multiple vehicles to catch up. Stewie then speeds onto a smaller dirt road and hides behind an abandoned-looking warehouse. Stewie parks the bike outside and runs in through the door, closing it behind him…)_

Stewie (flips on light switch): Well, he's gone! (laughs) Out of sight, out of mind! Oh, he'll never find me here. (looks around building and sees shelfs full of boxes of fireworks) Woah, look at all these fireworks. YES! I've struck jackpot! Now, to take some back home. Let me see…which ones to grab…(light goes out suddenly) Hey, who turned out the lights?

 _("BANG!", a noise of a hit to the head is heard in the background. The lights come back on, revealing it to be Hector, wearing another facemask, who's knocked Stewie out cold with a metal wrench…)_

Hector (laughs): Oh, you little brat. (gets out metal chains) You thought that you could get away from me (chains Stewie up to a chair) Oh, you're definitely going to pay the price now. (secures padlocks on chains)

 _(About an hour later, Stewie woke up, chained to the chair…)_

Stewie: Hey! What the?! Where am I?! (notices chains and struggles) Whoever did this to me is going to pay!

Hector (enters room): Oh, I beg to differ. (grins) You thought you could mess with me, little brat. But now, it's MY turn to mess with you.

Stewie: (gasps) Let me go, you shithead! (struggles)

Hector: Never! (laughs) You did painful stuff to me, so now, I'm going to do bad stuff to you!

Stewie (shivers): What are you going to do to me?!

Hector: Simple…blow you up!

Stewie: That's murder!

Hector (opens box of gunpowder) Says the kid who had a machine gun. My, you are such a hypocrite. (inserts fuse into box)

Stewie: Please, let me go! We can talk about this like reasonable gentlemen!

Hector: No. (gets out a match) Now, I'm going to light this fuse, which will slowly head towards this box of gunpowder. Once that happens, BOOM! This whole room will explode and you'll be head! (laughs)

Stewie: Please! Don't do this! I'm just a baby!

Hector (glares): A HOMICIDAL baby!

Stewie: Please, don't kill me. I'm sure we can sort this out (uses his untied feet to reach for something behind him) Look, how about I buy some fireworks and I'll give you all the money I have in my pocket?

Hector (thinks it over): Hmmm…okay, fine. How much money are we talking about here?

Stewie: 60 dollars.

Hector: Wow! That's a lot for a baby to own.

Stewie (smiles): Yes, it sure is.

Hector: Well, I'll release you then. Just let me go into the other room to look for the padlock keys. (enters other room, closing the door behind him)

Stewie (grins): Good, now's my chance to get out of this. (pulls out running chainsaw with his feet and cuts the chains off) Ah, perfect. (turns off chainsaw and puts it away) Now, to steal some fireworks and get out of here!

 _(Stewie grabs a box of assorted fireworks and tosses it out a nearby window. He then pulls out a grenade and removes the pin. Stewie tosses it onto the floor and jumps out the window. Once outside, Stewie grabs the box of fireworks, hops onto his bike, and speeds away. Back in the warehouse, Hector reenters the main room, holding the keys…)_

Hector: Alright kid, I got the keys…(sees chains on floor and empty chair): What!? He's escaped! THAT MAKES ME ANGRY! When I get my hands on that brat, I'l… (hears ticking from grenade) What's that noise?

 _("KABOOM!" the entire warehouse explodes with a huge display of colors and fire, due to the boxes of fireworks inside exploding, too. This explosion kills Hector and sends his dead cyborg body into the air. Stewie looks back at the explosion as he speeds away…)_

Stewie (laughs): Yes, it worked! NO ONE kills Stewie Griffin! (Hector's dead and burnt body falls on the ground, landing in front of Stewie's bike) Sorry Mexican man… (stops bike) I warned you about messing with me but you didn't listen. (spits on Hector's body) Bye now! (Speeds away back towards the city) Now, to get these fireworks back home…

 **KO!**

Boomstick: Woah! Now that's a way I would NEVER celebrate the Fourth of July!

Wiz: As you can see, Stewie and Hector were pretty good in combat. But this time, Stewie didn't use physical harm to kill Hector. He used his intelligence to create a distraction and trick Hector, giving Stewie an opportunity to escape, as well as kill Hector in the process.

Boomstick: So, Stewie used his BRAIN to escape? Wow, that baby was smart! Man, I really need to go back to college.

Wiz: The winner is, once again, Stewie Griffin.

Boomstick: Thanks for watching, and we'll see you next time on, "Death Battle!"

 **THE END!**

 **Well, that's the end of this third "Death Battle" fight. Sorry if this one seemed a little short, but it was all I could come up with at the moment. But for now, it's time for us all to move on to chapter 4 of this very epic battle story miniseries. In the next one, Stewie Griffin shall fight Gene, Benson's rival and the manager of "East Pines" park. Who will win? Well, you'll just have to read and find out for yourself. Well, what on Earth are we waiting for? Let's move on to chapter 4 of this very epic miniseries...**


	4. Stewie Griffin VS Gene

**Hello again everyone, it's time for another "Death Battle" story/chapter right now. In the last chapter of this miniseries, Stewie Griffin battled against Hector, a fireworks seller, and he won for the third time in a row. In this chapter, Stewie Griffin shall fight Gene, Benson's rival and the evil park manager of "East Pines" park. What will happen in Stewie's epic battle against a pranking park manager? Can Gene try to beat Stewie? Well, what on Earth are we all waiting for? Let's begin chapter 4 of this very epic and action-packed miniseries...**

Wiz: They both are strong and skilled, they both are very violent when provoked, and they also are not to be messed with

Boomstick: Stewie Griffin, everyone's favorite homicidal baby!

Wiz: And Gene, the evil and the rival park manager of "East Pines" park.

Boomstick: He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick!

Wiz: And it's our job to analyzes their weapons, armor, and skills to find out who would win a death battle!

 **Introduction to Stewie Griffin:**

Boomstick: Ah, good old Stewie Griffin. You never know what'll happen when messing with this kid!

Wiz: We already introduced Stewie in the last battle, but we still have to do it again due to the rules of "Death Battle".

Boomstick: To make it short and sweet on my part, Stewie Griffin is a homicidal baby that wants complete world domination!

Wiz: This one-year-old is not meant to be messed with. If you do mess with him, he'll probably kill you. Not joking, he WILL kill you if provoked.

Boomstick: Stewie Griffin is the youngest member of the Griffin family, but don't yet his young appearance fool you. He's a damn psychopath!

Wiz: Born on June 30 1999, Stewie Griffin has a very sophisticated psyche and is able to speak fluently in an upper class English accent. When he was born, his birth doctor found a map of Europe with plans to bomb its capitals inside Lois, his mother.

Boomstick: From that day on, he was shown not to be a normal kid, but a kid with the mind of a criminal. His weapon arsenal is full of classic weapons. These weapons include a machine gun, a tommy gun, a chainsaw, a machete, a flame thrower, a rocket launcher, a crossbow, a laser gun, a few hand grenades, a handgun, and even a harpoon gun. This is one of the reasons you really should think twice about messing with Stewie!

Wiz: Not to mention his abilities! He can run fast, jump high, trick his enemies, punch hard, kick hard, and even bite hard. He can yell or curse up a storm, and he can even invent things.

Boomstick: Over the years of the "Family Guy" show, Stewie has invented many futuristic inventions, such as a mind controlling device, a carbonite freeze gun, a hypnotic control device, a hovering drill machine, a teleporter device, a multiverse traveler, a Peter-Bot, a clone machine, rocket skis, a weather device, and even a God-damn time machine! Wow, this is one badass little kid.

Wiz: His inventions are very cool and technologically advanced, and he uses them multiple times. However, due to the rules of "Death Battle", Stewie can't use his time machine. But he can use any of his other inventions.

Boomstick: This all proves one thing…if you want to bully a kid, please make sure that kid is not Stewie.

Wiz: However, he's not PERFECT. When his friend Brian gets into a dangerous situation, its been shown since Stewie and Brain are friends, Stewie CAN get distracted from any of his battles to help save Brian.

Boomstick: Wait, what?! Why on Earth does he care so much at Brian?

Wiz: Well, in one episode, he mentions that because of neglect from Peter, his father, he sees Brain as a fatherly figure, more than Peter. So, because of this, Stewie can get emotional and weak sometimes.

Boomstick: But despite this, Stewie Griffin is still one badass kid!

 **Introduction to Gene:**

Boomstick: Ah, the joys of pranking people. It's usually a harmless thing to prank someone…unless if you're Gene.

Wiz: Gene is a green vending machine with a green hat. Since he is a vending machine, snacks are seen through a glass window. Like Benson, he has an overcast brow and a very large triangular nose. But we're not here to discuss his appearance. We're here to discuss his abilities in combat.

Boomstick: Gene is a pranking maniac! His pranks are less about humor, and more about war. You see, he once tried to destroy the Park by having a huge prank war, but he was defeated at the end by Muscle Man, who used mirrors to prank Gene in the East Pines watch tower. As you can see, he's physically fit. He can run past, dodge projectiles, jump very fast and high, drive a van very fast, and can even pull of the quickest of pranks in a combat/war situation.

Wiz: He also has a great arsenal of pranking weapons. He's got a paintball shotgun, a paintball handgun, whompie cushions, smoke bombs, feathers, black paint, marbles, invisible ink, firecrackers, joy buzzers, and so much more.

Boomstick: Wow, this man is incredible! In fact, he's unstoppable!

Wiz: Maybe, but sometimes his victims can outsmart or outrun Gene, ruining his plans all together. He can also be pranked back when not being careful. But despite these minor weaknesses, Gene is still a great prankster and a great fighter in combat!

 **And now, the actual fight to the death…**

 _(The scene begins with Stewie riding on his rocket-powered bike, leaving the front yard of his house. He had already dropped off the box of fireworks…)_

Stewie: Man, that was a tough task. Well, at least I finished it. (turns left) Man, I'm bored. (turns left) I need something to do…

 _(At that point, Stewie sees a massive wall nearby, covered with colorful graffiti…)_

Stewie: Wow, what a work of art. (grins) Hey, I know what to do now! (Picks up spray-paint can from the ground and speeds off) I'll paint a wall just like that!

 _(Meanwhile, Gene was finished painting the new sign for his park, "East Pines" …)_

Gene: Ah (puts paintbrush away): It's perfect. This sign will attract more customers, for sure! (walks away)

 _(As Gene walks away, Stewie stops his bike, parks it by the park's fence, steps off, and walks up to the sign overhead…)_

Stewie: Hmmm, that sign looks like a good place to start my art. (gets out spray can) It looks nice, but it needs a little black (sprays black paint all over the entry sign) Oh, this is so much fun! (laughs)

 _(At that point, Gene walks back out and sees Stewie…)_

Gene: Hmmm, what's that kid doing out here unsupervised? (walks over to Stewie) Hello there, kid. Hey, would mind telling me where your parents are?

Stewie (looks at Gene): In a second. Right after I finish painting this park entry sign.

Gene: Alright…hey! Did you say "park entry sign"?

Stewie (continues spray painting): Yep.

Gene: Oh, Hell no! (runs outside gate and sees the black paint-covered sign) MY SIGN!

Stewie (stops spray painting): Oh, this is YOUR park sign?

Gene: YES! IT TOOK ME TWO HOURS TO MAKE THAT SIGN, TODAY!

Stewie: (laughs) Well, too bad. I painted over it, so, it's my piece of art now. (puts spray can down) goodye.

Gene: YOU'RE NOT GOING ANYWHERE! (grabs Stewie and lifts him off the ground)

Stewie: PUT ME DOWN!

Gene: NEVER! Not until you pay for me to replace that sign!

 **FIGHT!**

Stewie (pulls out machine gun): I warned you! (fires machine gun)

Gene: AAAAHHHH! (drops Stewie) Alright kid, just relax. We can settle this calmly, deal?

Stewie: Hmm, let me think (stops firing machine gun) NO! (continues firing machine gun)

Gene (runs off): AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Stewie (chases after Gene): GET BACK HERE!

Gene (hides inside supply shed): I got to beat that little brat! (begins arming himself with pranking wepson inside)

Stewie: (approaches shed) You have 5 seconds to come out before I blow up that shed with a grenade! 1-2…5! (pulls out grenade and reaches for pin)

Gene (suddenly slams open door and fires paintball shotgun at Stewie): TAKE THAT, LITTLE BRAT! (laughs)

Stewie (falls over and loses grenade): How dare you, you piece of shit!? (pulls out crossbow and fires arrow, knocking the paintball gun out of Gene's hand) HAHA! Now, you have no paintball gun!

Gene (grins) Well, I beg to differ! (pulls out paintball handgun) I have ANOTHER GUN! (fires paintballs at Stewie)

Stewie (dodges paintballs and fires his machine gun some more): TIME TO DIE!

Gene: (dodges bullets) Surrender, kid!

Stewie (pulls out rocked launcher): NEVER! (fires rocket at Gene)

 _(The rocket hits the ground in front of Gene's legs, causing him to be flown into the shallow lake nearby…)_

Gene: (gets up) Wow, he's more powerful than I thought! (pulls out expired baloney slices) But no matter. No one beats Gene!

Stewie (walks to edge of lake): Well, it looks like I win already! (pulls out handgun) Any last words?

Gene: Yes…EXPIRED MEAT, TIME!

Stewie: (confused) What time?

Gene (tosses expired baloney slices at Stewie, hitting him in the face): EAT THAT!

Stewie (gets face covered with baloney slices): EEEEEEEWWWWWWW! (rips meat off face) That's it! You've gone too far this time! (pulls out flamethrower and runs through the shallow lake, toward Gene) Time to be lit on fire! (fires flamethrower)

Gene: AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH! (runs off) HELP!

Stewie (chases after Gene): You can ride, but you can't hide!

Gene (gets into his van and drives off): Whew, that kid is tough. But he can't catch up to a van! (laughs)

Stewie (jumps off of bench and lands on the roof of the van): Oh, I would say that! (pulls put laser gun and cuts out a large whole in the roof) Hello! (points laser gun at Gene)

Gene: What the?! (swings van side-to-side, trying to throw Stewie off) You cut a hole in my roof!

Stewie (jumps into van and pulls out baseball bat): Now, we can do this the easy way when pulled over, or the hard way while still moving!

Gene: You little brat! (tires to attack Stewie while the van is moving) I'll make you pay the price for all you're putting me through!

Stewie (whacks Gene with bat multiple times): You are a moron! (jumps over Gene and grabs onto steering wheel) Now, you won't have a van! (pepper sprays Gene's eyes)

Gene: AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH! MY EYES! (covers eyes in pain)

Stewie (turns steering wheel hard and crashes into a nearby tree): HAHA!

 _(Stewie opens window and jumps of van. Gene kicked open the door and chased after Stewie…)_

Gene: You wrecked my van! (chases after Stewie) Now, you're REALLY going to pay! (throws a handful of marbles in front of Stewie's path)

Stewie (slips on marbles and falls): AAAAHHHH! (struggles to get up) This is bad…

Gene (stands over Stewie): Well, well, well, it looks like you've been cornered. Hey, is it just me, or are you black!? (pours a whole can of black paint over Stewie and then tosses on some feathers) You're nothing but a big chicken! CLUCK! CLUCK! (laughs)

Stewie (gets up and pulls out harpoon gun) BIG MISTAKE! (fires harpoon, hitting Gene's left arm)

Gene (falls over and clutches left arm): OOOOWWWW! (shivers) Please don't hurt me!

Stewie (pulls out chainsaw): Oh, I'm going to hurt you alight! (turns on chainsaw and swings it toward Gene)

Gene (rolls out of the way): AAAAAAHHHHHH! (stands up and runs off again) HELP! AAAAAAHHHHHHH!

Stewie (chases after Gene): YOU'RE DEAD!

Gene (runs behind a bush and pulls out a sack of rotten tomatoes): Alright kid, you asked for it! (throws tomatoes at Stewie)

Stewie (gets covered in tomatoes): EEEEWWW! STOP! STOP IT! PLEASE! OW! STOP!

Gene: NEVER! (laughs)

Stewie (dodges rest of tomatoes and jumps into the air, attacking Gene with some karate moves): Take that! Take this, and THIS! WANT SOME MORE! WANT MORE PAIN?! (keeps using karate moves on Gene, and even punches his nose, breaking it)

Gene (in pain): OW! STOP! I SURRENDER! (cries in fear) Please, don't hurt me anymore. (shivers) You broke my nose!

Stewie (pulls out axe): No! You're not getting away that easily! (raises axe)

Gene: (shivers in fear) W…w…w…what are you doing with that axe!?

Stewie: Something I should have done a long time ago; you piece of shit! (chops off Gene's head, killing him instantly) Yes! He's dead! (smiles and steps of Gene's dead body) Hmmm, I'm still so hungry (notices the snacks inside Gene's dead vending machine body) Ah, jackpot! (pulls out baseball bat and smashes open glass panel) Hmmm, what to grab? (Stewie takes all of the chocolate bars and bag of chips) Perfect. Well, time for me to go before the police arrives. (leaves the park, eating a bag of "Sour Cream & Onion" flavored chips) Wait, how am I going to get this paint off? (pauses for a moment) Well, I could use the shower facility at the local gym. Yes, that's what I'll do (leaves the park)

 **KO!**

Boomstick: Oh man, that was more violent than the last battle! Man, I wish I was in Stewie's shoes right now!

Wiz: As you can see, Gene and Stewie were evenly skilled in combat. But however, since Stewie uses LETHAL weapons as opposed to pranking weapons, it gave him the bigger advantage.

Boomstick: You see, Gene has been foiled multiple times before, so it was only a matter of time before Stewie found an opening to kill and took it.

Wiz: Stewie is also very intelligent, and can find a way to outsmart his enemies. As opposed to Gene, who's NOT so intelligent and only knows how to use pranking weapons.

Boomstick: Well, it seems that the prank wars are over forever! I hope Benson is dancing for joy right now, because his rival is dead! Man, I got to go tell him!

Wiz: The winner is, once again, Stewie Griffin!

Boomstick: Thanks for watching and we'll see you next time on "Death Battle"!

 **THE END!**

 **Well, it looks like Stewie won for the fourth time in a row. He's very good, isn't he? He killed Gene and Benson won't be having anymore prank wars against "East Pines". In the next chapter, Stewie Griffin shall get into a battle against ANOTHER park manager. This park manager is none other than Benson. Who will win the fifth "Death Battle" in this miniseries? Well, you'll just have to read and find out for yourself. Well, what on Earth are we all waiting for? Let's all move on to chapter 5 of this very epic and action-packed miniseries.**


	5. Stewie Griffin VS Benson

**Well everyone, you all waited, and now, it's finally happening. A "Death Battle" with loads of action, and violence. A "Death Battle" that seems like it will have no ending. In this battle, Stewie Griffin is going to fight Benson, the manager of the park. Will Stewie Griffin win once again for the fifth time in a row, or will Benson kill of this kid and win? Well, there's only one way to find that all out...reading the whole thing. Well, what on Earth are we waiting for? Let's begin chapter 5 of this very epic and action-packed miniseries...**

Wiz: They both are usually calm, can get angered real easily, and can also get very violent when provoked.

Boomstick: Stewie Griffin, the homicidal baby who's bent on world domination.

Wiz: And Benson, a park manager with a short temper fuse.

Boomstick: He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick!

Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to find out who would win, a Death Battle!

 **Introduction to Stewie Griffin:**

Boomstick: Ah, good old Stewie Griffin. You never know what'll happen when messing with this kid! And this is his FIFTH time in a battle to the death!

Wiz: We already introduced Stewie in the last battle, but we still have to do it again due to the rules of "Death Battle".

Boomstick: To make it short and sweet on my part, Stewie Griffin is a homicidal baby that wants complete world domination!

Wiz: This one-year-old is not meant to be messed with. If you do mess with him, he'll probably kill you. Not joking, he WILL kill you if provoked.

Boomstick: Stewie Griffin is the youngest member of the Griffin family, but don't yet his young appearance fool you. He's a damn psychopath!

Wiz: Born on June 30 1999, Stewie Griffin has a very sophisticated psyche and is able to speak fluently in an upper class English accent. When he was born, his birth doctor found a map of Europe with plans to bomb its capitals inside Lois, his mother.

Boomstick: From that day on, he was shown not to be a normal kid, but a kid with the mind of a criminal. His weapon arsenal is full of classic weapons. These weapons include a machine gun, a tommy gun, a chainsaw, a machete, a flame thrower, a rocket launcher, a crossbow, a laser gun, a few hand grenades, a handgun, and even a harpoon gun. This is one of the reasons you really should think twice about messing with Stewie!

Wiz: Not to mention his abilities! He can run fast, jump high, trick his enemies, punch hard, kick hard, and even bite hard. He can yell or curse up a storm, and he can even invent things.

Boomstick: Over the years of the "Family Guy" show, Stewie has invented many futuristic inventions, such as a mind controlling device, a carbonite freeze gun, a hypnotic control device, a hovering drill machine, a teleporter device, a multiverse traveler, a Peter-Bot, a clone machine, rocket skis, a weather device, and even a God-damn time machine! Wow, this is one badass little kid.

Wiz: His inventions are very cool and technologically advanced, and he uses them multiple times. However, due to the rules of "Death Battle", Stewie can't use his time machine. But he can use any of his other inventions.

Boomstick: This all proves one thing…if you want to bully a kid, please make sure that kid is not Stewie.

Wiz: However, he's not PERFECT. When his friend Brian gets into a dangerous situation, its been shown since Stewie and Brain are friends, Stewie CAN get distracted from any of his battles to help save Brian.

Boomstick: Wait, what?! Why on Earth does he care so much at Brian?

Wiz: Well, in one episode, he mentions that because of neglect from Peter, his father, he sees Brain as a fatherly figure, more than Peter. So, because of this, Stewie can get emotional and weak sometimes.

Boomstick: But despite this, Stewie Griffin is still one badass kid!

 **Introduction to Benson:**

Boomstick: Ah, nothing like being a park manager as a job. You get to hand out paychecks, go on more vacations than your employees, and also, fire the bad employees. And no one does a better job at this, than Benson.

Wiz: Benson is the manager of the park, and does his job pretty well. However, he really does need to know how to manage his anger more.

Boomstick: You might think that he's not worthy of being a "Death Battle" opponent, but in fact, he's been shown to have more than enough skills to become an opponent. For example, he's shown to be a good battle strategist when it comes to fighting in the past, in the "Prank War". He can also handle pranking weapons, and is great at using communication devices, too.

Wiz: Not to mention his physical abilities. He can drive the golf cart very vast when it comes to having to be somewhere on time. He can also run fast, dodge projectiles in a prank car, and jump very well, too. He's also very intelligent too, as not only can he strategize win a combat situation, but he can also complete very important documents on a computer, as well as distract or trick his enemies.

Boomstick: And also, he can yell very loudly. His head fricken turns red when he's angry! And the volume of his voice when yelling is loud, he can really cause physical trouble as shown in the "Regular Show" episode, "Think Positive".

Wiz: And finally, he's also shown to be very caring of all his employees. He's shown to not want anything bad to happen to any of his workers, no matter how mad they make him. He tries his best to make sure nothing bad happens to them, like during the "Prank War", as an example. However, this can be a problem, as it distracts him from focusing on the dangerous situation. When distracted, bad things usually do happen to Benson.

Boomstick: But despite that minor setback, Benson is still one badass manager…when he's angry and provoked, that is. So, let's see how he does against Stewie Griffin in this epic battle to the death!

 **And now, the actual battle to the death…**

 _(The scene begins with Stewie Griffin driving down the road on his bicycle again, with the plastic bag of snacks tied to the back of it…)_

Stewie (stops at red light): Ah, what a great day I've been having so far. I killed 4 people, I got the fireworks, and now, I got all these snacks! Nothing can get in my way this time! (Stewie's cellphone rings) Ugh, what is it now? (picks it up) Hello?

Brian (over the phone): Hello. Hey Stewie, can you please do me one more favor?

Stewie (sighs): What is it now, Brian?

Brian: Well, you see, Lois forgot to buy some flowers to decorate the backyard porch for our barbeque, and Peter refuses to stop watching TV and go buy some. So, I would really appreciate it if you could stop at the florist shop and buy some flowers.

Stewie: Ugh, very well. What kind of flowers do you want specifically?

Brian: Hmmm, I'm not really sure. Get several varieties to add color to the barbeque.

Stewie (sighs): Okay. Alright Brian, I'll do that right away. Bye. (hangs up phone) Great, now I have another chore to do. (light turns green, Stewie drives off)

 _(Scene cuts to Stewie driving up to florist shop, only for a sign on the door to say "Closed on 4th of July". Stewie frowns and drives off…)_

Stewie: Great, now I have no flowers. I can't go home without them! (notices nearby park with a flower patch by the house inside) Ah, now there's some flowers I can get! (parks bike outside gate and walks into park)

 _(Meanwhile, Benson took some notes on his clipboard and nodded as everything was in order…)_

Benson: Well, everything seems to be in order (looks over at Muscle Man's gravestone) Oh Muscle Man, I still remember you for the great employee you were. (sighs) Such a shame that you were mysteriously killed by a fire. Muscle Man, if I ever find who killed you, I promise to avenge you. (walks away)

Stewie (walks over to nearby flower patch): Oh man, I'm in Flower Heaven! (begins to pick the flowers) Brian is going to be so proud of me. (smiles and picks more flowers)

Benson (walks back out and sees Stewie picking the flowers): HEY! What do you think you're doing?! (runs over to Stewie) Kid, you're not allowed to pick the flowers here! (stops in front of Stewie) Put those back and LEAVE!

Stewie (looks up at Benson): Oh really? (pulls out machine gun): Well then, eat some lead!

Benson (drops clipboard): Okay, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Look, we can talk about this calmly, okay? You drop the gun and I'll let you pick the flowers.

Stewie (shakes head): Too late for that! You shouldn't have bothered me, you piece of shit! (clocks gun)

Benson (runs off): AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

 **FIGHT!**

Stewie (drops flowers, chases after Benson): GET BACK HERE! (fires machine gun, hitting the porch of the house)

Benson (dodges bullets and runs into house and into supply closet): Crap, he's got a machine gun! I got to get out of here and tell the police! (notices box of prank war supplies next to him) Hmmm, I got an idea...(pulls out fake mustache) This'll fool that kid for sure (puts it on) Good. Now, time to make my getaway. (exits closet)

Stewie (in the house, waiting for Benson): Come out, sir! COME OUT SO I CAN KILL YOU!

Benson (walking past Stewie, speaking in a face accent): Good day, sir.

Stewie: Good day to you, too sir.

Benson (walks away, whistling)

Stewie (looks over at Benson): Hey, wait a minute…

Benson (fake mustache falls off): Oh crap! (runs off)

Stewie (chases after Benson): GET BACK HERE! (pulls out golf club)

Benson (trips over video game controller): OW! (tries to get up)

Stewie (suddenly whacks Benson with golf club): That's for telling me what to do, you shitty man! (whacks Benson hard multiple times)

Benson (struggles to fight back): AAAAHHHH! STOP! OW! THAT HURTS! STOP IT! OUCH!

Stewie (pulls out handgun): Eat lead, bald guy! (shoots Benson in both kneecaps)

Benson (clutches knees in pain): AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! (kicks Stewie in the stomach)

Stewie (falls over): HEY! (pulls out flamethrower) That's it! PREPARE TO BE COOKED TO DEATH!

Benson: No! Please, don't! I don't want to die!

Stewie: Too bad! (fires flamethrower)

Benson (in excruciating pain): AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Stewie (laughs): This'll teach you not to attempt to escape from me!

Benson (gets up and runs off in pain): YOU'LL NEVER KILL ME! (disappears behind hallway)

Stewie (pulls out chainsaw): GET BACK HERE SO I CAN CUT YOU! (chases after Benson)

Benson (reappears, holding a paintball gun): IT'S PAINTBALL TIME! (clocks gun)

Stewie (turns on chainsaw): Bring it on, Shit-Man!

Benson: With pleasure! (fires paintball gun)

Stewie (dodges paintballs and pulls out crossbow): EAT THIS! (fires arrow, knocking the paintball gun out of Benson's arms)

Benson: What the?!

Stewie (pulls out machete): Heads up, bald man! (swings it at Benson)

Benson (dodges): AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! (runs out in fear)

Stewie (chases after Benson): GET BACK HERE! STOP RUNNING FROM ME!

Benson (gets into golf cart and drives away): You'll never catch me!

Stewie (jumps off of backdoor ledge and grabs into back of golf car): HERE'S STEWIE!

Benson: AAAAHHHH! (swerves the cart very sharply in an attempt to throw Stewie off, but to no avail) What the?! Why aren't you falling off?!

Stewie (grabs Benson's neck from behind): Because, I'm better than you, you man of crap! (chokes Benson on the neck)

Benson (gasps for air): Let…me…go…(lets go of the wheel, and grabs Stewie's arms, trying to free his neck, but to no avail): Please…stop…

 _(The golf cart suddenly crashes into a tree, causing an explosion, which throws Benson and Stewie out of the cart. As they both land on the floor, Stewie continues to strangle Benson…)_

Benson (reaches into his rocket and pulls out a pen): That's it…you…asked…for…it…(stabs Stewie on the hand with pen)

Stewie: OW! (let's go of Benson's neck) That hurt! (stands up)

Benson: It sure did! (stands up) Now, leave the park OR ELSE! (faces turns red)

Stewie (laughs): Or else what, you moron!?

Benson (steam comes out of ears): OR ELSE I'LL DESTROY YOU!

Stewie: Geez, relax sir. This is not like you.

Benson: SAYS THE KID WHO TRIED TO KILL ME AND CASUED ME TO CRASH MY GOLF CART INTO A TREE!

Stewie (pulls out grenade): Oh yeah? Destroy THIS! (pulls pin out and throws grenade at Benson)

Benson (dodges grenade): HA! Missed me!

 _(The grenade hits the ground near Stewie and Benson, and explodes, causing them both to be flung into the air again, landing in the park's shallow lake nearby…)_

Stewie (pulls out his machete): That's it! NO MORE MR. NICE GUY! TIME TO CUT OFF YOUR HEAD!

Benson: NO! (runs out of lake): HELP!

Stewie (tackles Benson to the floor and raises his machete): Say your prayers, you piece of bald-headed shit!

Benson (shivers): No! Please! I'm too young to die! (cries in fear)

Stewie: TOO BAD! (decapitates Benson with his machete, killing him instantly) YES! I DID IT! (laughs) I WIN! (picks up Benson's head) Now to find out what to do with this head and get those flowers for Brian. (walks away and sees occupied basketball court in the distance) Hmmm, I have an idea…(grins)

 _(On the basketball court, 3 teenage boys were looking around for their basketball…)_

Teen 1: Man, where's our ball?

Teen 2: I don't know, but I'm getting bored of looking for the ball.

Teen 3: Yeah man, maybe we should just go home.

Stewie (walks up to them): Hey teenagers, you need a basketball?

Teen 1: Heck, yeah!

Stewie (holds up Benson's head): Here it is! It might not look like a basketball, but I'm sure it'll be just as good.

Teen 2: Well, what are you waiting for? Toss it over here to us!

Stewie (nods and kicks Benson's head over to the teens): Here you go! Enjoy! (smiles and walks away)

Teen 3 (catches Benson's head): Got it! Let's play!

 _(The 3 teenage boys begin playing basketball with Benson's head. As they do, Stewie walks away and heads back to the flower patch by the park's blue house…)_

Stewie (picking some sunflowers, tulips, daises, and roses): Ah, nothing like the sweet smell of flowers after killing off a random man (finishes picking the flowers) Well, that should be enough. (Leaves the park)

 **KO!**

Boomstick: That took forever! Man, I thought that battle to the death would never end!

Wiz: Both Benson and Stewie were evenly skilled in combat, but it was Stewie's lethal approach to fighting that gave him the advantage he needed.

Boomstick: As you can see, Stewie is more violent than Benson, and uses more lethal weaponry, as opposed to Benson who just uses non-lethal weapons, such as a paintball gun.

Wiz: And not only that, but Benson can do better in wars if he's assisted by his other employees.

Boomstick: Well, it looks like Benson won't be threatening his employees for quite some time. Poor Benson, no more yelling at Mordecai and Rigby for you.

Wiz: The winner is Stewie Griffin.

Boomstick: Thanks for watching, and we'll see you next time on "Death Battle"!

 **THE END!**

 **Well, it looks like Stewie Griffin won, once again. Poor Benson, no longer alive to yell at Mordecai and Rigby when they're underperforming. Well, at least they can do whatever they want with no consequences...until they get a new boss, that is. In the next chapter, Stewie Griffin shall compete in a "Death Battle" that's a really creepy one** **. Who will he fight? Who will win the battle? Well, you'll just have to read and find out for yourself. I'm not going to spoil it all for you right now. It would not be very nice of me, would it? No, not it would not. Well, what are you all waiting for? Let's all move on to chapter 6 of this very epic miniseries...**


	6. Stewie Griffin VS Percy

**Well, it looks like Stewie is about to do ANOTHER "Death Battle". Yep everyone, this is Stewie's 6th battle so far, with many more to come. This one involves Percy, Pops's creepy doll from the "Regular Show" Halloween special, "Terror Tales of the Park". In this battle, we'll see if Stewie has what it takes to defeat a doll, who's obsessed with drawing on people's faces. The only way you'll find out, it's by reading all about it. Well, what are we waiting for? Let's begin chapter 6 of this very epic miniseries...**

Wiz: They both look very adorable, can speak WAY over 250 words, and can also cause serious harm to you or others.

Boomstick: He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick.

Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to find out who would win, a Death Battle!

 **Introduction to Stewie Griffin:**

Boomstick: Ah, good old Stewie Griffin. You never know what'll happen when messing with this kid! And this is his sixth time fighting in a battle to the death!

Wiz: We already introduced Stewie in the last battle, but we still have to do it again due to the rules of "Death Battle".

Boomstick: To make it short and sweet on my part, Stewie Griffin is a homicidal baby that wants complete world domination!

Wiz: This one-year-old is not meant to be messed with. If you do mess with him, he'll probably kill you. Not joking, he WILL kill you if provoked.

Boomstick: Stewie Griffin is the youngest member of the Griffin family, but don't yet his young appearance fool you. He's a damn psychopath!

Wiz: Born on June 30 1999, Stewie Griffin has a very sophisticated psyche and is able to speak fluently in an upper class English accent. When he was born, his birth doctor found a map of Europe with plans to bomb its capitals inside Lois, his mother.

Boomstick: From that day on, he was shown not to be a normal kid, but a kid with the mind of a criminal. His weapon arsenal is full of classic weapons. These weapons include a machine gun, a tommy gun, a chainsaw, a machete, a flame thrower, a rocket launcher, a crossbow, a laser gun, a few hand grenades, a handgun, and even a harpoon gun. This is one of the reasons you really should think twice about messing with Stewie!

Wiz: Not to mention his abilities! He can run fast, jump high, trick his enemies, punch hard, kick hard, and even bite hard. He can yell or curse up a storm, and he can even invent things.

Boomstick: Over the years of the "Family Guy" show, Stewie has invented many futuristic inventions, such as a mind controlling device, a carbonite freeze gun, a hypnotic control device, a hovering drill machine, a teleporter device, a multiverse traveler, a Peter-Bot, a clone machine, rocket skis, a weather device, and even a God-damn time machine! Wow, this is one badass little kid.

Wiz: His inventions are very cool and technologically advanced, and he uses them multiple times. However, due to the rules of "Death Battle", Stewie can't use his time machine. But he can use any of his other inventions.

Boomstick: This all proves one thing…if you want to bully a kid, please make sure that kid is not Stewie.

Wiz: However, he's not PERFECT. When his friend Brian gets into a dangerous situation, its been shown since Stewie and Brain are friends, Stewie CAN get distracted from any of his battles to help save Brian.

Boomstick: Wait, what?! Why on Earth does he care so much at Brian?

Wiz: Well, in one episode, he mentions that because of neglect from Peter, his father, he sees Brain as a fatherly figure, more than Peter. So, because of this, Stewie can get emotional and weak sometimes.

Boomstick: But despite this, Stewie Griffin is still one badass kid!

 **Introduction to Percy the Doll:**

Boomstick: Ah, dolls. They can make a great gift for birthdays, Christmas, Easter, Valentine's Day, and other special occasions like that. But sometimes, the simple present can turn…well, creepy.

Wiz: And no one is creepier as a doll than Pops's old toy, Percy, as seen the "Regular Show" episode, "Terror Tales of the Park". Percy is a Victorian doll that Pops owned ever since he was a child. He has the ability to talk and spoke with a deep voice, which is very strange, considering that his appearance is that of a cherubic, really young British boy. In the 1940's he was the most sophisticated doll of his day, with 250 phrases stored inside.

Boomstick: Yet the only real phrases we heard him say had to do with an obsessive desire to draw on peoples' faces. Percy not only spoke of his obsession, but it was discovered that he was also an autonomous, "living doll" who actually carried out his intentions and threats of drawing on peoples' faces. He drew on Pops's face after Pops tried to throw him away, and when Pops tried playing teatime with him after Mordecai and Rigby threw him away, Percy became aggressive and wanted to draw on Pops's even face more. Mordecai and Rigby tried to rescue Pops, but Percy escaped and went into the basement.

Wiz: So, as you can see, this is one doll that NO ONE should own. He can survive a furnace with temperatures up to 2,400 degrees, he can run very fast, and when he draws on peoples' faces, he does it in a very artistic way. He can also jump very high, and yell at people to try to get his way.

Boomstick: So, as you can see, Stewie has some major competition here considering the fact that he's not fighting a normal human this time. So, let's see who will win this "Death Battle"…

 **And now, the actual battle to the death…**

 _(The scene begins with Stewie Griffin driving down the road on his bike again. He makes a left turn and stops at a red light…)_

Stewie: Well, that was good timing. I got the flowers to Lois and now, I'm free to explore the town today. (light turns green, Stewie continues driving) Hmm, what to do? Ah, I know. I'll go an explore the junkyard today. (drives to the right, heading to the junkyard) Just a few more minutes until I arrive there…(arrives there a few minutes later) Ah, I made it. (parks bike and steps off) Hmmm, I wonder what I can collect from here today.

 _(Stewie walks past massive piles of trash, not noticing the living Percy doll, poking his head out from one of the piles of trash…)_

Percy (looks at Stewie as he walks through the junkyard): Ah, what a nice-looking boy. I'm going to draw on his face! (pulls out his black marker)

Stewie (stops walking): Who said that!?

Percy (steps out of trash pile): Hello! (walks towards Stewie) I'm going to draw on your face!

Stewie (creeped out): What the?! (pulls out baseball bat): Oh no you're not!

 **FIGHT!**

Stewie (hits Percy with baseball bat): TAKE THAT1

Percy (dodges and jumps onto Stewie): I'm going to draw on your face!

Stewie (throws Percy off): NOT TODAY! (pulls out flamethrower): Eat fire! (fires flamethrower)

Percy (gets burned): AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH! (drops and rolls, putting the flames out

Stewie (drops flame thrower): What the?! I burned you! How are you still alive!

Percy (takes cap off marker): Shut up and let me draw on your face!

Stewie (pulls out kitchen knife): Alright, no more Mr. Nice Guy!

Percy (frowns): Mr. Nice Guy? Really? You weren't being nice to me. You hit me with a baseball bat and set my body on fire! (holds up marker) All I want, is to simply draw on your face!

Stewie (swings knife at Percy): TAKE THAT! (stabs Percy in the chest)

Percy (falls to the ground): OW!

Stewie (puts knife away): There, that should do the trick.

Percy (stands up): I'm still alive!

Stewie (shocked): What!? I stabbed you! How are you still alive?

Percy (tackles Stewie to the ground and draws on Stewie's face with the marker): None of your business, you football-shaped headed brat! Now, hold still as I draw on your face!

Stewie (struggles to get up): Get off of me right now or else!

Percy (laughs): Or else, what?

Stewie (pulls out machine gun): Or else, THIS! (fires machine gun)

Percy (gets thrown off Stewie): HEY! (falls onto ground) That was very rude of you. (stands up) It's not very nice to shoot people like that.

Stewie: Well, it's not nice of you to draw on people's faces, you little shit! You drew all over my face! Well, now, you're going to pay for that! (pulls out rocket launcher) I'm going to blast you away!

Percy: Oh crap! (tries to run)

Stewie: Don't try to get away! (fires rocket launcher)

 _(The rocket fires and hits Percy, throwing him in the air, and causing him to slam backwards into a trash pile…)_

Percy (gets up): You know what? That makes me mad. (pulls out marker) Time to finish drawing on your face! (runs towards

Stewie (does a karate kick on Percy): HIYA! (Percy gets tossed into another trash pile)

Percy (face turns red): THAT'S IT! YOU MUST PAY! (jumps out of pile and runs towards Stewie)

Stewie (pulls out sword): Bring it on, stupid doll! (swings sword at Stewie)

Percy (grabs sharp twisted piece of metal swings it at Stewie, blocking the sword): You can't kill me!

Stewie: Oh yeah?! (swings sword at Percy again)

Percy (continues sword-fighting Stewie): YEAH!

Stewie (keeps blocking Percy's moves): I'm going to make you wish that you were never made! (slices Percy's weapon in half) HA-HA! Now, you have no weapon!

Percy (pulls out new marker): I'M GOING TO DRAW ON YOUR FACE UNTIL YOU'RE DEAD! (growls and charges towards Stewie)

Stewie (pulls out buzzsaw): NOT TODAY, YOU LITTLE SHIT! (Tackles Percy to the ground and cuts his whole body in half with a chainsaw)

Percy (drops marker): AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! (dies)

Stewie (puts buzzsaw away): Whew, that was a close one (tosses two halves of Percy into a nearby trash bin) Well, that's enough of the junkyard for one day. (gets on bike and drives away)

 **KO!**

Boomstick: Oh man, that was on epic battle. Well Pops, if you're out there, I don't think you'll have to worry about Percy trying to draw on your face anytime soon. Yep, the nightmare is finally over for you!

Wiz: As you can see, Percy and Stewie were both good in combat, but Stewie's lethal fighting skills and weapon arsenal gave him the final advantage he needed.

Boomstick: Percy was skilled too…but it was only in the art of drawing on people's faces. Stewie on the other hand, is more lethal and is a homicidal maniac. So Percy, to use an old cooking expression, you are toast…and dead.

Wiz: Once again, the winner is Stewie Griffin.

Boomstick: Thanks for watching and we'll both see you next time on "Death Battle"!

 **THE END!**

 **Well, it looks like Stewie wins...again. Percy won't be drawing on anyone's faces any time soon. And now, Pops can relax in bed, knowing the Percy is gone for good. I hope you all liked this Halloween-inspired chapter, as much as I enjoyed writing it. Well, it's time to move on. In the next chapter, Stewie shall partake in a "Death Battle" that's literally, out of this world. Yep, it's all going to take place in outer space. Who's his new opponent? Well, you'll just have to read and find out. Well, what are we all waiting for? Let's move on to chapter 7 of this very epic miniseries...**


	7. Stewie Griffin VS Anti-Pops

**A 10-second countdown has begun. 10...9...8...7...6...5...4...3...2...1...LIFTOFF! Yep, it's time for us to blast off into space and begin our 7th chapter of this very epic miniseries. In this chapter, Stewie shall battle a supernatural being known as Anti-Pops! Yep, the best antagonist from "Regular Show" is battling a homicidal baby. Who will win this battle? Well, you'll just have to read and find out for yourself. Well, what on Earth are we waiting for? Let's being chapter 7 of this very epic and action-packed miniseries...**

Wiz: Today's battle is literally, out of this world!

Boomstick: Stewie Griffin, the homicidal baby bent on world domination.

Wiz: And Anti-Pops, most powerful antagonist in "Regular Show".

Boomstick: He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick.

Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to find out who would win, a Death Battle!

 **Introduction to Stewie Griffin:**

Boomstick: Ah, good old Stewie Griffin. You never know what'll happen when messing with this kid! And this is his seventh time fighting in a battle to the death!

Wiz: We already introduced Stewie in the last battle, but we still have to do it again due to the rules of "Death Battle".

Boomstick: To make it short and sweet on my part, Stewie Griffin is a homicidal baby that wants complete world domination!

Wiz: This one-year-old is not meant to be messed with. If you do mess with him, he'll probably kill you. Not joking, he WILL kill you if provoked.

Boomstick: Stewie Griffin is the youngest member of the Griffin family, but don't yet his young appearance fool you. He's a damn psychopath!

Wiz: Born on June 30 1999, Stewie Griffin has a very sophisticated psyche and is able to speak fluently in an upper class English accent. When he was born, his birth doctor found a map of Europe with plans to bomb its capitals inside Lois, his mother.

Boomstick: From that day on, he was shown not to be a normal kid, but a kid with the mind of a criminal. His weapon arsenal is full of classic weapons. These weapons include a machine gun, a tommy gun, a chainsaw, a machete, a flame thrower, a rocket launcher, a crossbow, a laser gun, a few hand grenades, a handgun, and even a harpoon gun. This is one of the reasons you really should think twice about messing with Stewie!

Wiz: Not to mention his abilities! He can run fast, jump high, trick his enemies, punch hard, kick hard, and even bite hard. He can yell or curse up a storm, and he can even invent things.

Boomstick: Over the years of the "Family Guy" show, Stewie has invented many futuristic inventions, such as a mind controlling device, a carbonite freeze gun, a hypnotic control device, a hovering drill machine, a teleporter device, a multiverse traveler, a Peter-Bot, a clone machine, rocket skis, a weather device, and even a God-damn time machine! Wow, this is one badass little kid.

Wiz: His inventions are very cool and technologically advanced, and he uses them multiple times. However, due to the rules of "Death Battle", Stewie can't use his time machine. But he can use any of his other inventions.

Boomstick: This all proves one thing…if you want to bully a kid, please make sure that kid is not Stewie.

Wiz: However, he's not PERFECT. When his friend Brian gets into a dangerous situation, its been shown since Stewie and Brain are friends, Stewie CAN get distracted from any of his battles to help save Brian.

Boomstick: Wait, what?! Why on Earth does he care so much at Brian?

Wiz: Well, in one episode, he mentions that because of neglect from Peter, his father, he sees Brain as a fatherly figure, more than Peter. So, because of this, Stewie can get emotional and weak sometimes.

Boomstick: But despite this, Stewie Griffin is still one badass kid!

 **Introduction to Anti-Pops:**

Boomstick: Pops had a brother, but he's not so nice as he is? Wow, who knew? You see, a long time ago, on the planet called "Lolliland", Pops, a positive and always-happy person was born, bringing peace and joy to the planet. But however, a negative source was needed to help balance out the good and the evil. And so, Anti-Pops was born.

Wiz: A complete opposite of Pops, Anti-Pops is a rude, tyrannical, homicide, ruthless, destructive, malevolent and genocidal entity Hell-bend on destroying all existences in the universe. He is also extremely picky on food and beverage as he often tries to rate the lowest rank (often one star) for any kinds of online food and beverage services, which displeases him. In one occasion, he was enraged to know that he cannot pose negative star for bad service.

Boomstick: But now, let's talk about his abilities. He shares his brother's cosmic power in telekinesis, energy manipulation and teleportation. However, he has power that unique to him in which he can erase anything and anyone out of existence in the form of glitches.

Wiz: He's also shown to be very strong and muscular. Unlike most people who have a 6-pack, Anti-Pops has a 24-pack. He can lift up the heaviest objects upon creating them right in front of him, such as full-sized cruise ships, planes, tanks, buildings, and so much more.

Boomstick: He can lift up all of that?! Holy shit! That's psychotic! Man, I really need to work out in the gym a lot more.

Wiz: Boomstick, stop bringing up your personal business into these "Death Battle" introductions. It's so annoying.

Boomstick: What? Can't a man wish for stuff around here? Man, you're such a killjoy.

Wiz (sighs): Anyways, as I was saying, Anti-Pops is unstoppable, to the point of scaring off his enemies even before a fight begins. But despite his amazingly supernatural powers, he does have ONE weakness.

Boomstick: Weakness?! A supernatural being like Anti-Pops has a weakness? And what would this weakness be?

Wiz: Well, his weakness is being suppressed by someone like Pops for example, who has high-amounts of inner peace. You see, peace always defeats evil any day, so it makes sense that a person like Pops can calm him down to stop his reign of terror.

Boomstick: But he's fighting STEWIE GRIFFIN, Wiz! Stewie is not the nicest kid when it comes to fighting. So we'll see what happens as Anti-Pops participates in this epic "Death Battle".

 **And now, the actual battle to the death…**

 _(The scene begins with Stewie Griffin in the backyard, putting the finishing touches on a massive rocket ship and launching pad. Brian walked outside, shocked at what he saw…)_

Brian: Stewie, what the Hell is all this?!

Stewie (climbs down): Oh hey, Brian. I just got done building a rocket that's going to fly me into outer space.

Brian: And why the heck would you want to do that?

Stewie: Well, when I got back home, I watched this documentary on TV about theories of unknown planets in space. So, I decided to build a rocket ship to go up into space and see for myself.

Brian (rolls eyes): Stewie, this is insane. Yes, you built the rocket ship and all, but you'll need a team of "Mission Control" people to assist you with communications.

Stewie (smiles): Brain…(pulls out remote control) watch this (pushes button)

 _(The area of grass in front of Brian suddenly parts and a small metal building rises up from the ground…)_

Stewie: That is Mission Control, Brian. And the best part is, YOU will be the team member behind the computers.

Brain: Are you serious?

Stewie: Yes, Brain, I'm serious. It'll be fun, trust me.

Brian: Trust you? What about the time you drove my car and crashed it into a lamppost?

Stewie: Brain, that was a month ago.

Brian: So? I'm still a little upset about that.

Stewie: Whatever Brian. Anyways, I'm going to board my rocket know. Get inside the Mission Control room and get on the computer. I'll let you know when I'm secured inside the cockpit.

Brian (sighs): Fine (enters Mission Control building)

 _(Stewie takes the metal elevator of the launch pad up to the boarding ramp, leading to the cockpit of the rocket ship. Stewie puts on an orange outfit for takeoff, seals the rocket's door shut, and takes his seat in the cockpit. He then straps himself in and puts on a pair of headphones and a microphone…)_

Stewie: Brain, can you hear me?

Brian (on the other end): Yeah, Stewie, I can hear you.

Stewie: Good. Alright Brian, follow the printed instructions on the right of the desk and start the launch sequence.

Brian (does so): Alright, I'm doing so now (types some things) Alright, the countdown has started from 60 seconds…60-59-58-57-56-55-54-53-52-51-50-49-48-47-46-45-44-43-42-41-40-39-38-37-36-35-34-33-32-31-30-29-28-27-26-25-25-23-22-21-20-19-18-17-16-15-14-13-12-11- (main engine starts)-10-9-8-7-6-5-4-3-2-1-0-LIFTOFF!

 _(Rocket engines fire and the entire rocket ship lifts off into the air, shocking all of the neighbors in the neighborhood…)_

Brian (on the other end): Alright, the tower is clear. Stewie, you'll be in orbit in about 2 minutes.

 _(Scene cuts to Stewie breaking out of the Earth's atmosphere, disposing of the 3 massive booster engines, leaving only the main rocket in space. The rocket then slows down and settles into it's cruising mode…)_

Brian (over headphones): Alright Stewie, you're now safely in orbit. There should now be no gravity in your rocket.

Stewie (unbuckles seatbelt): Rodger that, Brian. (puts on white spacesuit)

 _(Cuts to montage of Stewie floating around the rocket ship, having a freeze-dried space lunch, flying past all of the other Solar System planets, and finally, flying towards the planet, "Lolliland" in the distance…)_

Stewie (on microphone): Brian, I'm now strapped back in and I have good news. I found a new planet! (takes photos and texts them back to Brian)

Brain (shocked as he sees photos): NOW WAY! OH MY GOD, STEWIE, YOU FOUND A NEW PLANET!

Stewie (smiles): See Brian? I told you so! I told you that I would find a new planet! Brian, I'm going to land on the planet and then explore the area. While I do so, go get the media. We're going to be famous!

Brain (jumps up from chair): Sure thing, Stewie! (runs off to get local news reporters)

 _(Scene then cuts to Stewie landing the rocket ship on "Lolliland". He then parks the rocket, puts on his spacesuit's helmet and jetpack, and then opens up the door to the rocket. A retractable ladder goes down and firmly plants into the ground. Stewie grabs an American flag, and his live-feed video camera before slowly making his way down the ladder. On Earth, Brian got all of the city's news reporters covering his live feed of the event. In homes all over the U.S.A and around the world, everyone's eyes were glued to their TV screens, watching the whole event…)_

Stewie (sets one foot on the surface): That's one small step for Stewie…(sets other foot on surface) And one giant leap for mankind once again! (sticks American flag into ground)

 _(On Earth, everyone watching cheers for the big moment, happy that Stewie discovered another planet…)_

Stewie (speaking into video camera live feed): Well people, I got to go now. I'll let you all know when I'm on my way back home. (cuts off live feed and puts video camera away) Now, to explore the planet…(looks around, exploring the planet) This is such a great moment! Nothing can possibly ruin this day! (ground begins to rumble beneath her feet) What the? What's going on? (a huge shadow darkens Stewie's path) What the Hell? (looks up and sees Anti-Pops) Uh, who are you?

Anti-Pops: HELLO! MY NAME IS ANTI-POPS! WHO DARES TRESSPASS ON MY LAND?!

Stewie: Your land? (laughs) Yeah moron, look at that flag over there (points to flag) This is MY planet now.

Anti-Pops (frowns): You dare talk BACK TO ME!? (grows to massive size) NO ONE DOES THAT TO ME! NOW, YOU'RE GOING TO PAY THE PRICE!

Stewie (turns on jetpack): BRING IT ON, GIANT! (flies up into the air)

Anti-Pops (grins): You just made the biggest mistake of your life!

 **FIGHT!**

Stewie (pulls out machine gun): EAT LEAD! (fires machine gun)

Anti-Pops (uses energy powers from hands to block bullets): YOUR POWER IS NO MATCH FOR MINE! (creates and throws cars at Stewie)

Stewie (dodges cars and continues firing machine gun): Oh, you think you can just throw cars at me? (runs out of bullets) YOU PIECE OF SHIT! (tosses the machine gun at Anti-Pops)

Anti-Pops (gets hit by gun): OW! (shoots fireballs at Stewie) Hey, how about a COOKOUT TO THE DEATH!?

Stewie (dodges fireballs in midair): Oh, you really made me mad now! (pulls out crossbow) EAT THESE ARROWS! (fires arrows)

Anti-Pops (blocks all arrows with energy powers): IS THAT ALL YOU GOT, YOU LITTLE BRAT?! (creates plane and throws it at Stewie)

Stewie (pulls out rocket launcher and blows up the plane): HA-HA! That wasn't quick enough!

Anti-Pops (frowns and flies towards Stewie): DIE!

Stewie (pulls out crowbar): TAKE THIS! (whacks Anti-Pops in the head, getting flung to the ground) HA-HA! You're such a wimp!

Anti-Pops (gets up): I will NOT LET A CHILD DESTROY ME! (throws full-sized vans at Stewie)

Stewie (pulls out grenade and pulls out pin): TAKE THIS, TOO! (throws grenade at van, blowing it up)

Anti-Pops (fades reddens with anger): BRAT, WHY ARE YOU STILL ALIVE!?

Stewie (flies toward Anti-Pops, holding out a baseball bat): Because I'm smarter than you, you massive piece of shit! (whacks with Anti-Pops with the baseball bat, knocking him against a huge rocky mountain) Look who's tough now! (accidently drops his video camera, causing it to land on a pile of sand, turning it on)

Anti-Pops (gets up and grabs huge piece of mountain): THAT'S IT! NO MORE MR. NICE GUY! (throws mountain piece at Stewie)

Stewie (dodges mountain piece and fires another grenade at Anti-Pops): TAKE THIS, TOO! (grabs video camera and continues to fight Anti-Pops)

 _(Back on Earth, everyone saw Stewie's live feed of the battle against Anti-Pops, shocked about the whole thing. Brian was shocked too, scared that Stewie might die…)_

Brian: Oh my God, STEWIE! He's in trouble! Oh my gosh! Why did I let this happen?! It's all my fault! Why on Earth did I let him blast off into outer space? WHY?! What kind of horrible friend am I?! STEWIE, PLEASE DON'T DIE ON ME!

 _(Back in space, the fight continued as Stewie and Anti-Pops got closer and closer to the area surrounding the sun…)_

Anti-Pops: SURRENDER, SMALL-FRY! (throws random weapons at Stewie

Stewie (pulls out a Javelin missile launcher): NEVER! IT'S TIME THAT YOUR REIGN OF TERROR ENDS…TODDAY! (fires huge Javelin missile)

 _(The huge missile hits Anti-Pops in the stomach, causing him to fly backwards towards the sun. Anti-Pops tries to throw the missile off, but it's too powerful to fight it back…)_

Anti-Pops (gets closer to sun): NOOOOOOOOOOOO! HELP! PLEASE KID, HELP ME OUT! Please! I'm sorry for trying to kill you!

Stewie (grins): Sorry, but maybe you should've thought of that before you tried to kill me!

Anti-Pops: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! YOU HAVE NOT SEEN THE LAST OF ME! (gets flung into the sun, causing an explosion, killing him instantly)

Stewie: YES! I DID IT! I KILLED ANTI-POPS! (uses jetpack and flies back towards "Lolliland") Well, I better get home now (looks into camera) People on earth, I defeated a massive source of evil and I'm coming home! (turns off camera) Man, I really need a long nap when I get home from this journey. I think I had enough exploring for one day.

 _(Back on Earth everyone was cheering over Stewie's accomplishment, including millions of watching citizens, reporters, and of course, Brian…)_

Brian: WHOOHOO! YES! HORRAY! BRIAN IS ALIVE! YIPEE! HE'S COMING HOME! STEWIE IS COMING HOME!

 _(Back on "Lolliland", Stewie sets foot back on the ground and climbs up metal ladder back into the rocket ship. He then makes the ladder retract and closes the door. Stewie takes off his spacesuit's helmet and sits back down in the cockpit. He then buckles up and reignites the engines. He then takes off back into outer space and begins his flight back home to Earth…)_

 **KO!**

Boomstick: WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAH! THAT WAS EPIC! SO VERY, VERY EPIC! Man, I thought that Anti-Pops was going to win! But no, Stewie won…again! This was the longest "Death Battle" that ever took place, wasn't it, Wiz?

Wiz: Yes, Boomstick, it sure was. Both Stewie and Anti-Pops were both very skilled in combat, but Stewie's more lethal element of surprise gave him the advantage that he needed to win. Anti-Pops might've been very strong and lethal too, but Stewie is more surprising and intelligent in combat situations, so it helps him win fights much better than others. Anti-Pops even got thrown to the ground a few times, foreshadowing is death in this battle. So, to those of you who thought Anti-Pops would win, too bad, Stewie killed him off instead.

Boomstick: No amount of brotherly love or inner peace from Pops and bring Anti-Pops back to life again. Sorry Pops, but Stewie took care of him for you. Well, not only is the Earth saved thanks to Stewie, but the entire universe is saved too. And now, Pops no longer will have nightmares about encountering Anti-Pops. And now, all of those bad online food and beverage reviews mean nothing to the world anymore. Man, I really have to go back to updating my account.

Wiz: Once again, the winner is Stewie Griffin.

Boomstick: Thank you all for watching and we'll see you all next time, on "Death Battle".

Wiz: This is Wiz and Boomstick, signing off.

 **THE END!**

 **That...was...EPIC! Man, that finale was the best part! It looks like Anti-Pops won't be taking over the universe any time soon. And now, Pops doesn't have a brother to stop with his brotherly love anymore. And not only that, but this is the LONGEST "Death Battle" in this miniseries so far. Hey, maybe the next one or so will be BIGGER than this one. But until its posted, please leave a review for this one. Well, what on Earth are we all standing around and waiting for? Let's move on to chapter 7 of this epic miniseries...**


	8. Stewie Griffin VS Captain Jack Sparrow

**Harharhar! Ahoy mates! How are you all doing today? This swashbuckling episode "Death Battle" with be very epic and enjoyable to see. Stewie's opponent is none other than Captain Jack Sparrow. Yep, you heard me. Captain Jack Sparrow is Stewie Griffin's 8th opponent of this action-packed miniseries. Who will win this 8th "Death Battle"? How will the whole battle go? Well, you'll just have to read and find out for yourself. I'm not going to spoil it all for you now. Well, what are we waiting for? Let's begin chapter 8 of this very epic miniseries...**

Wiz: Ahoy everyone! Welcome to a swashbuckling episode of "Death Battle"!

Boomstick: Stewie Griffin, the homicidal baby bent on world domination.

Wiz: And Captain Jack Sparrow, one of the world's most notorious pirate theif!

Boomstick: He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick.

Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to find out who would win, a "Death Battle"!

 **Introduction to Stewie Griffin:**

Boomstick: Ah, good old Stewie Griffin. You never know what'll happen when messing with this kid! And this is his seventh time fighting in a battle to the death!

Wiz: We already introduced Stewie in the last battle, but we still have to do it again due to the rules of "Death Battle".

Boomstick: To make it short and sweet on my part, Stewie Griffin is a homicidal baby that wants complete world domination!

Wiz: This one-year-old is not meant to be messed with. If you do mess with him, he'll probably kill you. Not joking, he WILL kill you if provoked.

Boomstick: Stewie Griffin is the youngest member of the Griffin family, but don't yet his young appearance fool you. He's a damn psychopath!

Wiz: Born on June 30 1999, Stewie Griffin has a very sophisticated psyche and is able to speak fluently in an upper class English accent. When he was born, his birth doctor found a map of Europe with plans to bomb its capitals inside Lois, his mother.

Boomstick: From that day on, he was shown not to be a normal kid, but a kid with the mind of a criminal. His weapon arsenal is full of classic weapons. These weapons include a machine gun, a tommy gun, a chainsaw, a machete, a flame thrower, a rocket launcher, a crossbow, a laser gun, a few hand grenades, a handgun, and even a harpoon gun. This is one of the reasons you really should think twice about messing with Stewie!

Wiz: Not to mention his abilities! He can run fast, jump high, trick his enemies, punch hard, kick hard, and even bite hard. He can yell or curse up a storm, and he can even invent things.

Boomstick: Over the years of the "Family Guy" show, Stewie has invented many futuristic inventions, such as a mind controlling device, a carbonite freeze gun, a hypnotic control device, a hovering drill machine, a teleporter device, a multiverse traveler, a Peter-Bot, a clone machine, rocket skis, a weather device, and even a God-damn time machine! Wow, this is one badass little kid.

Wiz: His inventions are very cool and technologically advanced, and he uses them multiple times. However, due to the rules of "Death Battle", Stewie can't use his time machine. But he can use any of his other inventions.

Boomstick: This all proves one thing…if you want to bully a kid, please make sure that kid is not Stewie.

Wiz: However, he's not PERFECT. When his friend Brian gets into a dangerous situation, its been shown since Stewie and Brain are friends, Stewie CAN get distracted from any of his battles to help save Brian.

Boomstick: Wait, what?! Why on Earth does he care so much at Brian?

Wiz: Well, in one episode, he mentions that because of neglect from Peter, his father, he sees Brain as a fatherly figure, more than Peter. So, because of this, Stewie can get emotional and weak sometimes.

Boomstick: But despite this, Stewie Griffin is still one badass kid!

 **Introduction to Captain Jack Sparrow:**

Boomstick: Do you like to live on the water? Do you like to raid ports? Do you like to kill people? No? Well, too bad. It's a pirate's life in this battle to the death.

Wiz: Captain Jack Sparrow is a legendary pirate of the Seven Seas, and the irreverent trickster of the Caribbean. A captain of equally dubious morality and sobriety, a master of self-promotion and self-interest, Jack fought a constant and losing battle with his own best tendencies. Jack's first love is the sea, his second, his beloved ship the Black Pearl.

Boomstick: The son of Captain Edward Teague, Jack Sparrow was born on a pirate ship in a typhoon. Before he was even known as "Captain Jack Sparrow", he was simply known as Jack, a teenage stowaway who even then had a desire for adventure. Jack first sailed on the Barnacle with a young ragtag crew on a quest to locate and procure the legendary Sword of Cortés. Years after his teenage adventures, because of rogue pirates, Jack was forced to abandon the pirate life and took employment in the East India Trading Company. After five years of faithful service, during which he sailed across all the Seven Seas, he was given command of the "Wicked Wench", a ship owned by Cutler Beckett, the EITC Director for West Africa.

Wiz: As Beckett's employee, Jack searched for the mystical island of Kerma and its legendary treasure, until he decided to betray Beckett and keep the island and its inhabitants safe from Beckett and his slave traders. When Beckett contracted him to transport a cargo of slaves to the Bahamas, Jack chose to liberate them and steal the Wench from Beckett. However, Beckett's men managed to find him and branded him as a pirate, while the "Wench" was set aflame and sunk. After striking a bargain with Davy Jones, the ghostly captain of the Flying Dutchman, to resurrect his beloved vessel, Jack had the "Wench" renamed the "Black Pearl" and began the pirate life anew. At some point, Jack Sparrow became one of the nine Pirate Lords, his domain being the Caribbean Sea.

Boomstick: Throughout his years as an infamous pirate of the Caribbean, Jack Sparrow embarked on many adventures, several of which involved gaining items of unique value. Jack was captain of the Black Pearl for two years, during which time he searched for the Shadow Gold. But when he was after the treasure of Isla de Muerta, Jack lost the "Black Pearl" in a mutiny led by his first mate, Captain Hector Barbossa.

Wiz: Ten years later, with the help of Will Turner and Elizabeth Swann, Jack retrieved the "Black Pearl" after having fought and killed the cursed Barbossa, thereby becoming its captain once again. Jack was soon after the "Dead Man's Chest", to settle his debt with the fearsome Davy Jones, which ended with him being taken to Davy Jones' Locker by the Kraken. After escaping the Locker with the help of his crew, led by the resurrected Hector Barbossa, Jack had joined with the Brethren Court in the battle against Lord Cutler Beckett, who had control over Davy Jones and the "Flying Dutchman".

Boomstick: Jack would later sail on stranger tides during the quest for the Fountain of Youth, contending with the notorious Blackbeard and the beautiful Angelica, who forced him aboard the "Queen Anne's Revenge". After the malicious Captain Salazar's ghost crew escaped from the Devil's Triangle bent on killing every pirate, Jack sought to reverse his recent spate of ill fortune by finding the Trident of Poseidon.

Wiz: Over the course of time, Captain Jack Sparrow became a center of intrigue as myths and legends have been told of his exploits. Most of these tales, however, were exaggerations, or even fabrications, embellished by Jack himself to bolster his reputation. Despite his dishonesty and many deceptions, Jack Sparrow did embark on several grand and thrilling adventures, some involving the supernatural, pirate lore, magic, and journeys in discovering hidden treasures. Indeed, Jack's ultimate ambition was to have the freedom to sail the seas as a legendary pirate for eternity.

Boomstick: Now that you know Captain Jack Sparrow's backstory, let's talk about his abilities. He's an excellent sword fighter, as well as a good gun shooter. He's also great at firing cannons, knot tying, and even sharpening his swords and knifes. He can fight off his enemies and even trick them when he has the chance to do so.

Wiz: He's also very creative when it comes to escaping hostile situations, like when he escaped the prison cell in "Fort Royal", when we used a canoe to walk underwater with an air pocket, and when he escaped from being executed by hanging. He can also trick people into doing things, like giving him access to a private vessel, or by stepping off the ship, so that he could take over and steal it.

Wiz: However, he is very vulnerable to getting captured or hurt by other enemies, as he's still a normal person. But despite that, he always escapes and continues fighting just as easily. So, as you can see, Stewie Griffin has a lot to work with in this "Death Battle".

 **And now, the actual battle to the death…**

 _(The scene begins with Stewie's rocket landing in the middle of the ocean, after breaking back through the Earth's atmosphere. As the rocket sinks into the ocean, the windows breaks, and water begins to pour in….)_

Stewie: Oh, crap! (takes off spacesuit): I better get my emergency raft inflated and get out of here. (walks over to cabinet and pulls out a deflated raft) Once outside, I'll inflate and do an inventory check of the built-in supply kit. (steps outside sinking rocket and inflates the raft) Perfect. (gets into raft and floats away from rocket ship as it sinks into the ocean) I better call for help. (pulls out cell phone) Crap, no signal out here. (puts phone away) Oh well, I hope that the currents get me home. (sees a pirate ship with black sails in the distance) Hmmm, now THAT'S a neat vessel. (pulls out oars) I better go over to it (begins to paddle) I'm going to kill whoever's on it and take it as my own.

 _(Meanwhile on the ship, known as the "Black Pearl", Captain Jack Sparrow was onboard, all by himself, steering the wheel…)_

Captain Jack Sparrow (singing): Yo-ho, yo-ho, a pirate's life for me. Yo-ho, yo-ho, a pirate's life for me…(stops singing) Ah, this is the life. Nothing but robbing ports, and the open seas for me.

Stewie (pulls up alongside the port side of the ship): Ah, I made it. (pulls out grappling took and tosses the metal hook end into the boat, grabbing into the railing) Now, up I go! (climbs up the side of the ship)

Captain Jack Sparrow (notices metal hook): What the...

Stewie (climbs up over the railing): Yes, I made it! (steps onto wooden deck) My, this ship is impressive. Now, to find the person who owns it…

Captain Jack Sparrow (stepping away from behind the wheel): Hi there. That owner would be me. Who may you be?

Stewie: Hello sir, my name is Stewie Griffin. And who might you be?

Captain Jack Sparrow: I be Captain Jack Sparrow. I be the most dreaded criminal pirate on all the Seven Seas.

Stewie (laughs): Man, you're so funny.

Captain Jack Sparrow (confused): What's so funny?

Stewie: Well, you think you're so fierce, when in fact, there are OTHER pirates out there who are way better than you!

Captain Jack Sparrow: Oh really? Prove it. Name a few.

Stewie: Sure. The first one I know is Captain Barbossa.

Captain Jack Sparrow: Oh, that guy. Well, guess what? I killed him!

Stewie: Oh, uh…okay then. Second best is Captain Davy Jones.

Captain Jack Sparrow (smiles): I killed him, too.

Stewie: Oh. Then…uh, what about Captain Blackbeard?

Captain Jack Sparrow: Killed him.

Stewie: Captain Hook?

Captain Jack Sparrow: Not real.

Stewie: Captain Crunch?

Captain Jack Sparrow: Not real, either.

Stewie: Darn it! Man, you're so fierce. (shakes head): Okay, I admit that you are the fiercest pirate, but that doesn't mean that I'm not going to cancel my plans for this vessel.

Captain Jack Sparrow: And what would those plans be?

Stewie (pulls out machine gun): Kill you, the owner of this ship, and take it over as my own!

Captain Jack Sparrow (pulls out sword): Uh, bad idea mate. That's a very bad idea. You should NEVER mess with me, Captain Jack Sparrow.

Stewie (clocks machine gun): Oh yeah? Bring it on, stupid!

 **FIGHT!**

Stewie (fires machine gun): DIE!

Captain Jack Sparrow (flip-jumps over Stewie): HA! You missed!

Stewie (turns around and continues firing machine gun): DID NOT!

Captain Jack Sparrow (uses sword blade to dodge bullets): Did too!

Stewie (runs out of bullets): Oh, that makes me mad! (pulls out katana) EAT CURVED STEEL, THEN! (swings katana at Captain Jack Sparrow multiple times)

Captain Jack Sparrow (blocks all katana blade swings): HAHA! You can't stab me!

Stewie (pulls out flamethrower): EAT FIRE, THEN! (fires flamethrower)

Captain Jack Sparrow (drops sword in fear): AAAAHHHH! (falls over and rolls, putting the fire out) How dare you set a pirate like me on fire? (pulls out gun) Eat some lead! (fires gun)

Stewie (dodges bullet): Oh, so you think you can shoot me, you piece of shit?! (pulls out chainsaw) Well then, how about I CUT YOU INTO SLICES OF FLESH AND BLOOD! (turns on chainsaw) Prepare to die a very dirty death! (swings at Captain Jack Sparrow)

Captain Jack Sparrow (dodges chainsaw, causing Stewie to cut the wooden railing instead) Missed!

Stewie (grins): Not quite… (swings at Captain Jack Sparrow again, who dodged, causing him to hit the main sail mast instead) HOLD STILL!

Captain Jack Sparrow: Never! (runs up to an upper deck where the wheel was, and grabs a new sword) You'll always remember this day as the day when Captain Jack Sparrow killed off a young lad!

Stewie (cuts sword in half with chainsaw): Not today! (swings at Captain Jack Sparrow again, only to hit part of the steering wheel)

Captain Jack Sparrow: Great! Now you broke my steering wheel! (swings sword at Stewie)

Stewie (blocks sword, and knocks it out of Captain Jack Sparrow's hands): Now, it's time to die! (tackles him to the floor) You'll always remember this day as the day when Stewie Griffin killed off a dreadful pirate named…

Captain Jack Sparrow (kicks Stewie off him, causing him to drop his chainsaw): That's my catchphrase! Get your own! (points sword at Stewie's neck) And now, it's time to die. You can choose how I shall kill you. You can either walk the plank or let me stab you in the neck. What shall you choose?

Stewie (grins): I choose…THIS! (pulls out handgun and fires it at Captain Jack Sparrow's chest, making him drop the sword and fall to the floor) Now, you're helpless! (pulls out large knife) Ready to die?

Captain Jack Sparrow (tries to crawl away): No…P-p-please don't kill me. I've been through so much already.

Stewie (raises knife): TOO BAD! (tries to stab Captain Jack Sparrow)

Captain Jack Sparrow (stands up very quickly and kick's Stewie's knife away): Now… (pulls out another sword) It's time for you to die (swings sword towards Stewie)

Stewie (pulls out rocket launcher) NEVER! (fires rocket)

Captain Jack Sparrow: Uh oh…(gets hit by rocket, causing an explosion, killing him instantly, and causing flesh and blood to stain the deck)

Stewie (puts rocket launcher away): YES! I KILLED HIM! HORRAY! That'll teach him a lesson not to mess with me. (walks up to broken steering wheel and duct tapes it back together) Well, it's time to head back to land. If I get any phone reception signals, I'll call Brian to come and get me. (sails off into the open ocean)

 **KO!**

Boomstick: A pirate's life for me…not! Man, that pirate took quite the punch…and died from it.

Wiz: Both opponents were evenly skilled in combat, but it was Stewie's more lethal approach to fight that gave him the final advantage he needed. And Captain Jack Sparrow has been captured beyond escaping before, to the point where someone else had to rescue him from danger for him to live.

Booomstick: And now, Captain Jack Sparrow shall join those other enemies he killed in Hell. Sorry Captain Jack Sparrow, but you had it coming. What goes around, comes around!

Wiz: The winner is, once again, Stewie Griffin.

Boomstick: Thank you all for watching, and we'll see you all next time on "Death Battle"!

 **THE END!**

 **Well everyone, that's all for this chapter. It looks like Captain Jack Sparrow is dead...I know, it's very sad. Yep, Stewie Griffin takes another life to win his 8th "Death Battle". I hope you all enjoyed this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it. In the next chapter, Stewie Griffin shall participate in his second-to-last "Death Battle" of Season 1. Yep, this season is already almost over. And I hope you all like the subplot of Stewie in between the battles. Well, what are we all waiting for? Let's all move on to chapter 9 of this very epic and action-packed miniseries...**


	9. Stewie Griffin VS Captain Barbossa

**HARHARHARHAR! AHOY MATES! LAND HO! It's go glad to see you all again! Man, I'm so glad hat all you landlubbers out there are here today. Well, are you all ready for another swashbuckling "Death Battle"!? Good, because this one is all about Stewie Griffin fighting off ANOTHER pirate! Who is is this pirate? Will he live or die? Well, you'll just have to read and find out for yourself. I'm not going to spoil it all now. Well, let's all not waste any more time standing around and talking. Instead, let's all relax and** **begin chapter 9 of this very epic and action-packed miniseries...**

Wiz: Ahoy again, everyone! Welcome to another swashbuckling episode of "Death Battle"!

Boomstick: Stewie Griffin, the homicidal baby bent on world domination.

Wiz: And Captain Hector Barbossa, the evil pirate and enemy of the Seven Seas.

Boomstick: He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick.

Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to find out who would win, a "Death Battle"!

 **Introduction to Stewie Griffin:**

Boomstick: Ah, good old Stewie Griffin. You never know what'll happen when messing with this kid! And this is his seventh time fighting in a battle to the death!

Wiz: We already introduced Stewie in the last battle, but we still have to do it again due to the rules of "Death Battle".

Boomstick: To make it short and sweet on my part, Stewie Griffin is a homicidal baby that wants complete world domination!

Wiz: This one-year-old is not meant to be messed with. If you do mess with him, he'll probably kill you. Not joking, he WILL kill you if provoked.

Boomstick: Stewie Griffin is the youngest member of the Griffin family, but don't yet his young appearance fool you. He's a damn psychopath!

Wiz: Born on June 30 1999, Stewie Griffin has a very sophisticated psyche and is able to speak fluently in an upper class English accent. When he was born, his birth doctor found a map of Europe with plans to bomb its capitals inside Lois, his mother.

Boomstick: From that day on, he was shown not to be a normal kid, but a kid with the mind of a criminal. His weapon arsenal is full of classic weapons. These weapons include a machine gun, a tommy gun, a chainsaw, a machete, a flame thrower, a rocket launcher, a crossbow, a laser gun, a few hand grenades, a handgun, and even a harpoon gun. This is one of the reasons you really should think twice about messing with Stewie!

Wiz: Not to mention his abilities! He can run fast, jump high, trick his enemies, punch hard, kick hard, and even bite hard. He can yell or curse up a storm, and he can even invent things.

Boomstick: Over the years of the "Family Guy" show, Stewie has invented many futuristic inventions, such as a mind controlling device, a carbonite freeze gun, a hypnotic control device, a hovering drill machine, a teleporter device, a multiverse traveler, a Peter-Bot, a clone machine, rocket skis, a weather device, and even a God-damn time machine! Wow, this is one badass little kid.

Wiz: His inventions are very cool and technologically advanced, and he uses them multiple times. However, due to the rules of "Death Battle", Stewie can't use his time machine. But he can use any of his other inventions.

Boomstick: This all proves one thing…if you want to bully a kid, please make sure that kid is not Stewie.

Wiz: However, he's not PERFECT. When his friend Brian gets into a dangerous situation, its been shown since Stewie and Brain are friends, Stewie CAN get distracted from any of his battles to help save Brian.

Boomstick: Wait, what?! Why on Earth does he care so much at Brian?

Wiz: Well, in one episode, he mentions that because of neglect from Peter, his father, he sees Brain as a fatherly figure, more than Peter. So, because of this, Stewie can get emotional and weak sometimes.

Boomstick: But despite this, Stewie Griffin is still one badass kid!

 **Introduction to Captain Barbossa:**

Boomstick: If you plan to ever meet a pirate, you might want to think twice before meeting this one. He's not a nice guy…at all.

Wiz: In his youth, Barbossa was an honest sailor who left to make an easier living as a pirate. Originally a captain of the schooner "Cobra", Barbossa would join Jack Sparrow aboard the "Black Pearl" as first mate. After a while of sailing under Sparrow, Barbossa led a mutiny against Jack and marooned him before finding the treasure of Cortés in Isla de Muerta.

Boomstick: In mysterious circumstances, Barbossa would become the Pirate Lord of the Caspian Sea after he obtained the Piece of Eight of the previous Lord. Upon falling under the Aztec curse, Barbossa led his crew in search of all the scattered pieces of gold they frittered away, and blood to lift their terrible curse. Ten years later, the curse was lifted by Will Turner, the child of former crewman Bootstrap Bill, at which time Barbossa was killed by his old captain, Jack Sparrow.

Wiz: But death wasn't the end of his reign of terror, as he was later resurrected by Tia Dalma, secretly the sea goddess Calypso in human form, who demanded that Barbossa help free her from her human bonds in return for his resurrection. After helping rescue Jack Sparrow in Davy Jones' Locker, Barbossa had to join up with the Brethren Court to battle against Lord Cutler Beckett, who had control over Davy Jones and the Flying Dutchman. At some point, afterwards, Barbossa had lost his leg, and the "Black Pearl", which forced him to serve as a privateer, claiming to owe his allegiance to King George II. Having been given command aboard the HMS Providence, Barbossa participated in the quest for the Fountain of Youth, where he would rendezvous with Jack Sparrow, Blackbeard and destiny.

Boomstick: Man, this pirate has a backstory just as big as Captain Jack Sparrow's was, but can that REALLY help him beat Stewie?

Wiz: I'm getting to that. You see, Captain Barbossa has a lot of skills and abilities as well. He's an excellent sword fighter, as well as a good gun marksman. He's also good at using a knife, and he can also dodge projectiles fired by his enemies.

Boomstick: So, despite all his skills, I'm still kind of skeptical when it comes to battling Stewie. Well, let's see how he does in this "Death Battle"…

 **And now, the actual battle to the death…**

 _(The scene begins with Stewie Griffin sailing the "Black Pearl" ship all by himself…)_

Stewie: Ah, this is the life (turns wheel slightly) But I still can't get a signal to contact Brian. (sees island in the distance) Hmmm, what's this? (turns wheel again): I-I-it's an island! (turns to dock at island): LAND-HO!

 _(Stewie Griffin docks on the island and throws down the anchor. He then lowers the gangplank and steps off the boat…)_

Stewie: Now to explore the island and see if I can call Brian from here (pulls out cell phone) Drat, no signal. (puts cell phone away and notices cave nearby) Hmmm, I wonder what's in here…(walks into cave) Hopefully I find SOMETHING in here. (sees pile of rocks with a treasure chest on top) Ah, perfect! I'M RICH (walks up to the top of the rock pile) Oh man, this is amazing! (swings open lid and sees hundreds of cold coins) Nothing can ruin this moment for me!

 _(Stewie doesn't notice Captain Barbossa approaching him from behind…)_

Captain Barbossa: Aye lad, I think you're wrong.

Stewie (turns around): Who the Hell are you?

Captain Barbossa: I be Captain Hector Barbossa. You may you be, ye landlubber?

Stewie: I'm Stewie Griffin and I came for the gold here. So, step away, or I'll kill you.

Captain Barbossa (laughs): You wouldn't! I'm the evilest pirate of the Seven Seas! (pulls out sword) Prepare to die!

Stewie (pulls out machine gun): BRING IT ON!

 **FIGHT!**

Stewie (fires machine gun): DIE! DIE! DIE!

Captain Barbossa (swings sword around, blocking he bullets): HARHARHARHARHAR! (cuts Stewie in the arm, making him drop his gun) Ye can't defeat me!

Stewie (frowns and pulls out running chainsaw): OH YEAH, YOU PIECE OF SHIT!? (swings chainsaw at Captain Barbossa's leg, cutting it very deeply)

Captain Barbossa (drops sword and falls over): OW! (gets up, still in pain) You just made a big mistake, lad! (pulls out gun) Lead time! (fires gun, hitting Stewie in the keecap)

Stewie (drops chainsaw and falls over): OW! (gets up and pulls out a rocket launcher) It's now EXPLOSION TIME! (fires rocket at Captain Barbossa)

Captain Barbossa (dodges and pulls out another sword): Big mistake, lad! (swings it at Stewie)

Stewie (pulls out katana and blocks all of Captain Barbossa's moves): Surrender, you smelly old pirate!

Captain Barbossa: (keeps blocking Stewie's katana blade): NEVER!

Stewie (slices's Captain Barbossa's sword blade in half): HA! Now, you have no sword! (pulls out golf club and begins to whack Captain Barbossa with it)

Captain Barbossa (gets knocked to the ground! OW! AAAHHH! STOP IT! OW, THAT HURT'S!

Stewie (keeps whacking Captain Barbossa): Surrender, man! It can all end now if you surrender!

Captain Barbossa (pulls out knife and gets up): NEVER! Now, it's stabbing time! (swings knife at Stewie, cutting him in on the left cheek)

Stewie (falls over backward): OW! (feels blood on left side of face) Oh, that's it! (pulls out crossbow) NO ONE CUTS OPEN MY FACE! (fires arrow at Captain Barbossa, making the knife falls out of his hands)

Captain Barbossa (growls): That's it…no one…tries to kill…CAPTAIN BARBOSSA! (face reddens and lunges toward Stewie) I'M GOING TO STRANGLE YOU UNTIL YOU'RE DEAD!

Stewie (laughs): That's right old man! COME AND GET ME! (grins)

Captain Barbossa (growls and runs toward Stewie): YOU…WILL…DIE!

Stewie (grins): Yes sir, you're getting closer…

Captain Barbossa: DIE!

Stewie (reaches behind his back): Yes sir, you're almost there…

Captain Barbossa (runs up to Stewie, ready to kill him): TIME TO DIE, YOU LITTLE BRAT!

Stewie (pulls out another machine gun): NOT TODAY! (fires machine gun, shooting Captain Barbossa in the stomach and chest, killing him instantly)

Captain Barbossa: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO! (dies and falls onto the floor)

Stewie (puts gun away): YES! I KILLED HIM! I DID IT! (walks over to treasure chest and pockets all the gold points) Well, I better get out of here. (exits cave) Well, I might not have been able contact Brian, but I got lots of gold coins today! (gets back on boat, raises gangplank, and sails away) Now I have to go find the mainland. (sails off into the sunset)

 **KO!**

Boomstick: Wow, that evil pirate got his comeuppance today! Yep, I'm glad he's dead!

Wiz: Both opponents were evenly skilled in combat, but it was Stewie's more lethal approach to fight that gave him the final advantage he needed. And Captain Barbossa has been defeated and KILLED in the past, so it was no surprise as to who would win. And, he's just not as smart as Stewie Griffin, who's also very intelligent for his age.

Booomstick: And now, Captain Hector Barbossa is burning in Hell, paying the price for all the crimes that he and his now-dead pirate crew have committed in the past.

Wiz: The winner is, once again, Stewie Griffin.

Boomstick: Thank you all for watching, and we'll see you all next time on "Death Battle"!

 **THE END!**

 **Poor Captain Hector Brabossa. He didn't see his death coming anytime soon, but Stewie taught him a very evil lesson and killed him at the end. Well, I'm afraid that's how this chapter ends now. The next chapter is the FINAL "Death Battle" episode of Season 1. Yep, the next one is the series finale. Who will Stewie's last opponent of Season 1 be? Can Stewie win once again? Well, you'll just have to read and find out for yourself. Well, what are we all waiting for? Let's all move on to chapter 10 of this very epic and action-packed miniseries**


	10. Stewie Griffin VS Plankton

**Well everyone, it's time. It's time for the big moment of Season 1...the FINALE of Season 1! That's right, Season 1 of this miniseries is now coming to a close. Stewie's finale opponent of Season 1 is just as evil as he is. Who is this final opponent of Season 1? Who will win? Well, you'll just have to read and find out for yourself. Well, what on Earth are we all sitting around and waiting for? Let's all** **begin the 10th and final chapter of this very epic and action-packed first season of this brand new miniseries...**

Wiz: This is a very special episode of "Death Battle!" And do you all know why?

Boomstick: It's our Season 1 finale! That's why! And I say that we end this first season on a very high note!

Wiz: Oh, and you bet we have a very epic battle to end Season 1 on. Boomstick, are you ready!?

Boomstick: Yes, I am! Stewie Griffin, everyone's favorite homicidal baby…

Wiz: And Plankton, the evil microscopic organism bent on fast-food restaurant domination!

Boomstick: He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick….

Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to find out who would win, a "Death Battle"!

 **Introduction to Stewie Griffin:**

Boomstick: Ah, good old Stewie Griffin. You never know what'll happen when messing with this kid! And this is his TENTH time fighting in a battle to the death! Oh boy, I can't wait for this battle to begin!

Wiz: We already introduced Stewie in the last battle, but we still have to do it again due to the rules of "Death Battle". Bear with me, everyone. This is the last episode of Season 1. It'll be all over soon.

Boomstick: To make it short and sweet on my part, Stewie Griffin is a homicidal baby that wants complete world domination!

Wiz: This one-year-old is not meant to be messed with. If you do mess with him, he'll probably kill you. Not joking, he WILL kill you if provoked.

Boomstick: Stewie Griffin is the youngest member of the Griffin family, but don't yet his young appearance fool you. He's a damn psychopath!

Wiz: Born on June 30 1999, Stewie Griffin has a very sophisticated psyche and is able to speak fluently in an upper-class English accent. When he was born, his birth doctor found a map of Europe with plans to bomb its capitals inside Lois, his mother.

Boomstick: From that day on, he was shown not to be a normal kid, but a kid with the mind of a criminal. His weapon arsenal is full of classic weapons. These weapons include a machine gun, a tommy gun, a chainsaw, a machete, a flame thrower, a rocket launcher, a crossbow, a laser gun, a few hand grenades, a handgun, and even a harpoon gun. This is one of the reasons you really should think twice about messing with Stewie!

Wiz: Not to mention his abilities! He can run fast, jump high, trick his enemies, punch hard, kick hard, and even bite hard. He can yell or curse up a storm, and he can even invent things.

Boomstick: Over the years of the "Family Guy" show, Stewie has invented many futuristic inventions, such as a mind controlling device, a carbonite freeze gun, a hypnotic control device, a hovering drill machine, a teleporter device, a multiverse traveler, a Peter-Bot, a clone machine, rocket skis, a weather device, a rocket-powered bicycle, a rocket ship that blasts off into space, a dream-transporter machine and even a God-damn time machine! Wow, this is one badass little kid.

Wiz: His inventions are very cool and technologically advanced, and he uses them multiple times. However, due to the rules of "Death Battle", Stewie can't use his time machine. But he can use any of his other inventions.

Boomstick: This all proves one thing…if you want to bully a kid, please make sure that kid is not Stewie.

Wiz: However, he's not PERFECT. When his friend Brian gets into a dangerous situation, its been shown since Stewie and Brain are friends, Stewie CAN get distracted from any of his battles to help save Brian.

Boomstick: Wait, what?! Why on Earth does he care so much at Brian?

Wiz: Well, in one episode, he mentions that because of neglect from Peter, his father, he sees Brain as a fatherly figure, more than Peter. So, because of this, Stewie can get emotional and weak sometimes.

Boomstick: But despite this, Stewie Griffin is still one badass kid!

 **Introduction to Plankton:**

Wiz: Ah, Plankton, the villain well known for trying to steal the secret Krabby Patty formula from Mr. Krabs of his fast-food restaurant, "The Krusty Krab".

Boomstick: Sheldon J. Plankton was born as the only known child of Mama and Papa Plankton, and he's the grandson of Grandma Plankton. He was born on November 30, 1942. This is also the birth date of his former best friend and current rival Eugene H. Krabs.

Wiz: You see, when they were kids, Plankton and Krabs were considered outcasts by other kids because Krabs was poor and Plankton was a nerd. When they discovered that money could bring them out of their poverty, they decided to make money selling hamburger patties, and set up a mini-restaurant in the local dump.

Wiz: At first, their burgers were not successful; the first of their patties was tried by Old Man Jenkins, who was knocked out by the contaminated burger. Plankton started complaining about how Jenkins had been old and not able to handle the patty. Offended by this, Krabs tried to take the recipe from Plankton to improve upon. Plankton wanted to do this himself, but he only ended up with the corner of the recipe, which read: "And a pinch of chum."

Boomstick: Angered by this, Plankton stormed out of the restaurant, and went on to create his own recipe, using only his memory, the corner of the recipe, and science. At school, Plankton tried to sell his chum burgers in a chum bucket and failed, when Krabs succeeded with his Krabby Patties, which he had created by accident when Plankton had slammed the door. Ingredients fell in the patty batter, thus creating the patty.

Wiz: Plankton later named his restaurant the "Chum Bucket", after the secret ingredient of the original unsuccessful patty recipe. Mr. Krabs named his restaurant the "Krusty Krab", after himself. And from that point on, he and Plankton became arch enemies.

Boomstick: To this very day, Plankton has been single-mindedly obsessed with obtaining the Krabby Patty formula and running the Krusty Krab out of business. He often goes to incredible and quite ridiculous lengths to do so.

Wiz: For example, he's tried to disguise himself to steal the secret formula. In one episode, he stole Sandy's fur coat to steal the formula, only to be caught by Sandy at the end. He also once made a robotic version of Mr. Krabs to steal the formula, but got foiled at the end. He then disguised himself as Gary the Snail to steal the formula, but still, it did not work out at the end.

Boomstick: But it's not only those disguises that are impressive. He's also a very good science expert, so obviously, he's created a lot of science-oriented weapons. These weapons of his include a laser gun, the "Enlargetron" gun that makes things bigger, a freezing gun called, "The Dispictulator", a robot that runs on brains called, "Brain-Powered Sponge-Robot", the "Duplicatotron 3000": a machine that creates seemingly endless amounts of robot soldiers, the "Switch-lives-just-to-know-what-it's-like-o-Microfier", the "High-Powered Mechanical Bio Arm", "Brain Sucker", the "Death Robot", the "Clam Digger", "Mind Control Bucket Helmets", the "Hypo-Pod", and even a TIME MACHINE just like Stewie! But like Stewie, due to the rules of "Death Battle", he can use any other invention of his EXCEPT for the time machine.

Wiz: And let's not forget about Plankton's computer wife, Karren. She's a mobile and stationary living computer system, who's married to Plankton, his every intelligent when it comes to computer systems and software, and usually helps Plankton with his evil schemes, or gives him suggestions for evil plans…most of the times that is.

Boomstick: But why on Earth would ANYONE want to be married to a guy like Plankton?! He's an evil genius with hardly any time for his wife!

Wiz: Boomstick, that's none of your business. As I was saying, Karren helps Plankston out sometimes, but due to the rules of "Death Battle", Karren cannot help Plankton out during the battle. But despite this rule, Stewie has a HUGE opponent to deal with due to Plankton's past and experience as an evil genius. But, despite Plankton's skills, he does have ONE flaw. His flaw is that he has a fear of whales.

Boomstick: Wait a second, he's afraid of whales!? How come?

Wiz: Well, in the past, all of his cousins and other relatives were at a family reunion picnic, having a good time together. But suddenly, a massive blue whale entered the picture, and devoured them all in one gulp. This of course, traumatized Plankton for life. Ever since there, he's been terrified of whales. But despite this fear of his, Plankton is still an amazing opponent for Stewie Griffin to fight. Stewie's opponent here is so good at being evil, that I personally don't even know who is going to win in this battle to the death.

Boomstick: Well, that's what this show is all about, right?! Come on! Let's get this final "Death Battle" episode of Season 1 started already! COME ON!

Wiz: Yes Boomstick, it's time for the "Death Battle" to start already! Let's see if Stewie will claim another opponent's life, or if Plankton will win instead. So, without any more further delays, let's begin this Season 1 finale episode of "Death Battle"…

 **And now, the actual battle to the death…**

 _(The scene begins with Stewie's rocket ship from Episode 8 sinking in the ocean, heading towards the city of Bikini Bottom. The scene cuts to Plankton and Karren (mobile version), waking back from a shopping trip…)_

Karren: Honey, thank you so much for that shopping spree trip you took me on.

Plankton: No problem, dear. It's your birthday and you deserve it.

Karren: It's so nice to see you do something else, other than try to steal the secret formula for Krabby Patties.

Plankton: Oh dear, it's really no problem. And that taxi driver was nice…after we paid him, that is.

Karren: Yeah, that's the only downside. The whole time he drove us to the mall, he was so rude and nasty to us. He didn't even smile when we asked him to wait outside the mall for us.

Plankton: Yeah, I don't know what his problem was…

 _(At that very moment, as Plankton and Karren walked to the left, "BOOM!", Stewie's rocket ship landed at the bottom of the ocean, accidently crushing the "Chum Bucket" restaurant. Karren and Plankton see this, freeze in their path, and open their mouths in shock…)_

Plankton: What the…

Karren (drops shopping bags): Oh my!

Plankton (faces turns red with anger): I KNOW WHO DID THIS! (steam comes out of ears) MR. KRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAABS!

Karren (sighs): Here we go again…

 _(Mr. Krabs steps out of the "Krusty Krab" restaurant through the front doors. He folds his arms, angered by Plankton's screaming…)_

Mr. Krabs: What do you want, you formula-thief?!

Plankton: First of all, I'm not a thief yet since I haven't succeeded in stealing the formula at the moment. And second of all, YOU DESTROYED THE CHUM BUCKET!

Mr. Krabs (sees rocket ship): Oh, so you think I did that?!

Plankton: Yes! I KNOW YOU DID THIS!

Mr. Krabs (laughs): I never did that! (wipes away tear of joy) But I'm sure glad it did! It just karma for all the times that you tried to steal the Krabby Patty secret formula in the past. (laughs and walks back into "Krusty Krab" restaurant)

Plankton (turns to Karren): Well, if it wasn't Mr. Krabs, who did do it?

Karren (shrugs): I don't know, honey. But maybe one of my scanners can find out for us. (reveals data scanner) Hang on a minute…(walks over to site of accident) This should only take a minute (scanes the accident): AH-HA! I found out who did this!

Plankton: Who? Who was it?

Karren (displays data on screen): Well, according to my scanner results, the damage was caused by a homicidal baby named Stewie Griffin.

Plankton: A BABY DID THIS!?

Karren: Apparently, he did! (shows Stewie's location on her radar screen) And I just tracked down his DNA nearby on a ship sailing on the surface of the ocean, about 100 feet away from Bikini Bottom.

Plankton: YES! (pulls out ray gun) Time to teach that human kid a lesson.

Karren: Dear, what's that gun for?

Plankton: Oh, this? It'll make me buoyant so that I'll float up to the surface. Then, I'll make myself as big as he is, and then, I'll KILL HIM!

Karren: Honey, isn't that going a little too far?

Plankton (fires gun at himself, making him grow to child-size and float towards the surface): No. See you later, honey!

Karren (sighs): He'll never, learn. Will he? (picks up shopping bags) Well, I better fix the place up and prepare dinner. I think I'll make Plankton his favorite meatloaf again.

 _(Scene cuts to the deck of the "Black Pearl" ship once again, with Stewie Griffin behind the wheel, holding out his cell phone for a signal…)_

Stewie (sees a few bars): Yes, finally I got a signal! Now, to contact Brian. (dials Brian's number)

Brian (picks up on the other end): Stewie, where are you!?

 _(Scene shows Stewie tell Brian about everything that had happened to him upon landing in the ocean…)_

Brian (runs out of house): Alright Stewie, I'll track down your cell phone location and rescue you. Just stay put, okay?

Stewie: Sure thing, Brian. I'll see you later. (hangs up) Well, I better drop the anchor (does so) I'll just have to wait till Brian gets me, I guess.

 _(At that point, Plankton, now the same height and side as Stewie climbed up the port side of the ship, and stepped onto the deck. He looked over at Stewie…)_

Plankton: Hello kid. Are you Stewie Griffin by any chance?

Stewie: Yes, indeed I am. Who are you?

Plankton: My name is Plankton and I'm here to DESTROY YOU!

Stewie (frowns): Really? Kill me? Why? What did I ever do to you?

Plankton (folds arms): Do you own a rocket ship.

Stewie: Yes.

Plankton: Did it sink into the ocean?

Stewie: Yes.

Plankton: DING DONG, WE HAVE A WINNER! That's why I'm going to destroy you! Your STUPID ROCKET SHIP landed on MY RESTURANT, crushing into NOTHING BUT RUBBLE!

Stewie (balls fists): Oh, yeah? You think you can just show up on my ship and kill me?!

Plankton (pulls out laser gun): YES! (laughs evilly)

Stewe (pulls out machine gun): Think again, sea creature! I killed 9 people already! I have no problem making you dead victim #10!

Plankton (clocks laser gun): Bring it on, you little child!

Stewie (clocks gun): With pleasure!

 **FIGHT!**

Stewie: EAT LEAD! (fires machine gun)

Plankton (dodges bullets): MISSED ME! (fires laser beams)

Stewie (dodges lasers): You can't miss my bullets forever, you little shit! (continues firing bullets)

Plankton (keeps firing lasers): Oh, yes I can!

Stewie (runs out of bullets): HOLD STILL! (pulls out crossbow)

Plankton (laughs): NEVER!

Stewie (fires arrow, knocking it out of Plankton's hands): HAHA! Now, you have no weapon! (pulls out flamethrower) It's barbeque time!

Plankton (pulls out "Dispictulator" freezing gun): Oh, really? I don't think so. The weather report DID say something about ICE! (fires it at Stewie)

Stewie (fires flamethrower at Plankton, dodging the ice): Goodbye, sea creature!

Plankton (drops "Dispictulator" freezing gun in pain): AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH! (falls over in pain) IT BURNS!

Stewie (keeps firing flamethrower): Oh, you like that, huh?

Plankton (gets up and pulls out the "High-Powered Mechanical Bio Arm"): That's it, no more Mr. Nice Guy! (fires it, slapping Stewie all over his body)

Stewie (drops flamethrower): OW! STOP THAT! OUCH! PLEASE, STOP! OW, THAT HURTS! STOP IT! OW! OW! (falls over)

Plankton (puts the "High-Powered Mechanical Bio Arm" device away): Oh, what's the matter? You in pain?! (walks over to Stewie) I think it's about time you learn how to treat others like me! (pulls out new laser gun) PREPARE TO DIE!

Stewie: NOT TODAY! (suddenly jumps up and tackles Plankton to the floor, delivering several hard punches to Plankton's eye and face) TAKE THAT! TAKE THIS! THIS TOO! TAKE THAT, TOO! YOU LIKE PAIN? YOU LIKE PAIN, MAN!?

Plankton (in excruciating pain): OW! OW! OW! STOP IT! OUCH! OW, THAT HURTS! (tries to fight back but to no avail)

Stewie (continues beating Plankton): HAVE SOME MORE, YOU LITTLE SHIT! (punches Plankton in the stomach)

Plankton (suddenly spits on Stewie's face): TAKE THAT!

Stewie (falls over backwards): EEEEEWWWWW! (gets up) That's disgusting! (runs away towards door to the captain's private quarters) You'll never take me alive! (runs into private room, slams door shut, and locks it)

Plankton (picks up laser gun): GET BACK HERE! (chases after Stewie, banging on the door) OPEN THE DOOR! (kicks it hard) OPEN THE DOOR!

Stewie (breaks down door, revealing himself to be on his Hover-Drill invention): Hey, is it just me, or is it DRILLING TIME?! (turns on drill and goes after Plankton)

Plankton (gasps): AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! (runs off in fear) HELP! SOMEONE, HELP ME! I HAVE A HOMICIDAL BABY AFTER ME! (jumps onto main mast and begins to climb up, only for Stewie to hover up after him)

Stewie: GET BACK HERE! (goes up higher): YOU MUST DIE!

Plankton (reaches the top of the mast): Oh, crap! I'm cornered!

Stewie (arrives at the top): That's right! (grins) PREPARE TO BECOME MINCED MEAT! (charges towards Plankton)

Plankton: AAAAAHHHH! (jumps from main mast, and grabs onto mast near the stern of the ship) MISSED ME, YOU MORON! (fires laser gun, blowing up Stewie's Hover-Drill) And now, YOU have no weapon! Who's the smart one now, child?

Stewie (falls but grabs onto sail of mast near the stern of the ship): I STILL AM! (climbs up very fast towards Plankton, pulling out a handgun) Here, have some more lead! (fires gun at Plankton, shooting him in the left shoulder)

Plankton (clutches left shoulder in pain) OW! MY SHOULDER! (falls over, landing on smaller mast near port side of the ship near the stern)

Stewie (pulls out rocket launcher, aiming it at Plankton): PREPARE TO DIE!

Plankton: NO! PLEASE, DON'T KILL ME! (tries to jump off into the water) I'm too young to die! (jumps off of the mast, trying to land in the ocean)

Stewie (fires rocket): DEATH TIME! (rocket his Plankton in mid-air, causing his body to explode and causing eternal organs to cover the port side of the ship near the stern)

Plankton (as he explodes): NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! (dies in pain)

Stewie (climbs back down to the deck) YES! I KILLED HIM! I DID IT! I WIN! YES, I WIN! (puts rocket launcher away) Hey, I wonder where Brian is.

 _(Suddenly, an orange "Coast Guard" helicopter appears overhead, with Brian sticking his head out of the open side door…)_

Brian: HEY STEWIE, IT'S ME, BRIAN!

Stewie (looks up): BRIAN! (cheers) HORRAY! YOU'VE COME TO RESCUE ME!

Brian: Stewie, hang on! They're sending down a harness! (harness is lowered down to Stewie on a cable) Grab on!

Stewie (grabs harness and attaches it to his waist): Alright Brian, I'm ready to go!

 _(The pilot lifts Stewie up into the air, and Brain grabs a hold of him once he's close to the floor of the helicopter. Brian then pulls Stewie inside, and another coast guardsman closed the side door. Once inside, Stewie takes the harness off and hugs Brian…)_

Stewie (hugs Brian): Oh, Brain, I'm so happy to see you again! I had an amazing adventure! I fought two pirates and killed off a sea creature!

Brian (hugs Stewie back): Stewie, I really don't care about who you fought or killed today. I'm just so happy that you're safe from your space trip. (gets Stewie buckled up into a seat) Pilot sir, let's go home. (gets seated and buckled up next to Stewie) We're ready to go.

Helicopter pilot: Yes, sir. (turns off "Autopilot") Next stop, the mainland.

 _(Scene ends with the helicopter flying off into the sunset, ending the final episode of Season 1 of "Death Battle"…)_

 **KO!**

Boomstick: Awww, what a happy and emotional ending for Stewie Griffin after a massive battle to the death. And now, he's on his way home with Brain. (wipes away a fear) Man, I can hold back my tears!

Wiz: As you can see, both Plankton and Stewie were evenly skilled in combat, but Stewie's element of surprise attacking at the last minute, gave him the advantage that he needed to kill off Plankton to win. And in the past, Plankton has been stepped on, crushed, and foiled when it comes to his evil schemes. As opposed to Stewie, who has little to weaknesses, and who also has a very large weapon arsenal.

Boomstick: And now, Mr. Krabs doesn't have an enemy to worry about, and Karren is now a widow! Poor Karren, Plankton never learned from his mistakes. So, that's how Season 1 of "Death Battle" ends today.

Wiz: The winner is Stewie Griffin.

Boomstick: Thank you all for joining us during Season 1 of this "Death Battle" series. Pretty soon, the first episode of Season 2 will make its debut. Until then, thank you all for watching and we'll see you all again in Season 2 of "Death Battle"!

 **THE END!**

 **See you all in Season 2!**

 **Well everyone, that's it for Season 1 of this miniseries. It looks like Stewie Griffin not only won again, but now, he's on his way back home with Brian. But it's not over for his battles to the death he'll be doing in the future. Season 2 is now officially underway and that'll be another 10 chapters to look forward to. I hope you all enjoyed this final chapter, as much as I enjoyed writing it. I have another page coming up, but it's not a "Death Battle". It's just an author's note/credits page. But go ahead, read it, and enjoy it. Well, until then, goodbye...**


	11. Death Battle Season 1 Credits

**Well everyone, Season 1 of "Death Battle" has officially come to a close. Yep, it's all over and it's time to say goodbye for a while. I hope you all enjoyed Season 1. The first season of this miniseries was full of action, blood, suspense, and even foul language. Stewie Griffin took the lives of 10 opponents, who saldy lost to him every time. And in Season 2 coming up, im sad to say that none of those dead characters are coming back to life via ignored continuity. They'll stay dead throughout the miniseries and that's how it's going to be. Sorry about that, but that's just how it all goes.**

 **I'm very sorry to say that, but that's just how "Death Battle" works. Since Season 2 is underway, it won't be long before Stewie returns and takes on 10 more opponents and tries to win. I promise you all that Season 2 will have a lot more action, foul language, opponents, and violence than Season 1 did. But for now, let's begin our credits list. We'll start off by listing all of the main and minor characters used in this first season...**

 **Main Characters:**

Wiz ("Death Battle" on ("YouTube")

Boomstick ("Death Battle" on "YouTube")

Stewie Griffin ("Family Guy") (The winner of all 10 Death Battles)

Brian Griffin ("Family Guy")

Numbuh 1 ("Codename: Kids Next Door")

Muscle Man ("Regular Show"

Hector ("Regular Show")

Gene ("Regular Show")

Benson ("Regular Show")

Percy the Doll ("Regular Show")

Anti-Pops ("Regular Show")

Captain Jack Sparrow ("Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl")

Captain Hector Barbossa ("Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl")

Plankton ("Spongebob Squarepants")

 **Minor Characters:**

Peter Griffin ("Family Guy")

Lois Griffin ("Family Guy")

3 Teens playing on basketball court ("Regular Show")

Karren ("SpongeBob Squarepants")

Mr. Krabs ("Spongebob Squarepants")

Helicopter pilot ("Family Guy")

Other coast guardsman ("Family Guy")

News reporters and TV viewers ("Family Guy")

All other needed extras ("Family Guy")

 **Now, let's go over the locations used in Season 1 of this miniseries. The locations are listed in the order that they appeared during Season 1 of this very epic and action-packed miniseries. Here's the list...**

 **Locations Used:**

Los Angeles, California ("Regular Show")

The Griffin Home ("Family Guy")

The Park (in chapters 1 and 2) ("Regular Show")

The Warehouse Full of Fireworks ("Regular Show")

"East Pines" park ("Regular Show")

The Park (again, in chapter 5) ("Regular Show")

Outer Space ("Regular Show")

The Planet, "Lolliland" ("Regular Show")

The Middle of the Ocean ("Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl")

Onboard the "Black Pearl" ship ("Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl")

The Island and Cave ("Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl")

City of "Bikini Bottom" ("Spongebob Squarepants")

 **And that's all I wanted to list when it comes to the characters and locations used in this miniseries. Now, here's the list of "FanFiction" author's that I wanted to give shout outs to for reviewing all 10 chapters/episodes of this brand new miniseries of mine...**

"Family Guy Fan-writer 15"

"Sgude954"

And 2 random guest reviewers.

 **And those were the reviewers who posted reviews for my miniseries. Yes, it's not as much as my other stories here on "FanFiction", but hey, it's better than nothing. And that's something I'm happy about. Now, I would like to tell you all the story of how I came up with this action-packed miniseries. It's actually a pretty interesting backstory for a miniseries like this one here...**

 **After watching several amazing and action-packed episodes of "Death Battle" on "YouTube", and after watching several episodes of "Family Guy" on TV, I decided that it was time to crossover these things and so, this miniseries of mine was born. And not only that, but the battles have a subplot with Stewie in between the actual fighting. Stewie does things, and unintentionally, instigates the fights, and ends up killing the opponent fighting him.**

 **Sometimes Stewie does instigate the fights on purpose when told to do something he doesn't want to do. If you know Stewie's character, you know that telling him what to do is a very bad idea, unless you want your life to end early. The first 3 Death Battles had the beginning of Stewie stealing the opponent's belongings, but after the third one, I changed the ways Stewie instigates the fight, so it wouldn't seen repetitive. I didn't want you all to get annoyed of me using the same old beginning over and ove again.**

 **And I already thought of Stewie's first opponent for Episode 1 of Season 2, but I'm not telling ANYONE of you who it is. You'll just have to wait for Season 2 and find out for yourself. But I do promise you all that it'll be a great way to start off Season 2 on a very high note. It will include a lot of action, a lot more violence, loads of suspense, and even more foul language. Yep, I'm sorry that all of these "Death Battle" episode/chapters were rated M, but I had to rate it like that because of the foul language from Stewie Griffin, as well as the violence.**

 **Well, it's time to go now. Yes, we have to now say goodbye. Season 2 is currently underway and will be posted right here on "FanFiction" very soon. Also, chapter 158 of my story, "Perry the Platypus Goes to Walt Disney World: A Magical Musical" will also be uploaded to "FanFiction" very soon. It might be a while, but it will get uploaded very soon, I promise. But for now, it's time for us all to say goodbye. I'll see you all in Season 2 of this very epic miniseries. So, until it's posted here on "FanFiction", goodbye!**


End file.
